Pirates Wrapup

I’ve been lax the last few weeks in wrapping up the battles. But this week I was Shanghaied and conscripted to service aboard the ‘Bountiful Booty’. It’s write this wrapup or scrape the barnacles off Captain Jack’s peg leg.

If you thought pirates were interesting, wait until you see what the sketch warriors do with their kissing cousins: hippies.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Interviews That Never Aired Wrapup

With cable, satellite, and millions of websites streaming content, 24/7/52/7/7 ((That’s 24 hours in a day, by seven days in a week, by 52 weeks in a year, by seven years between sabbaticals, by seven sabbatical cycles in a jubilee. I mean, we’ve got a LOT of content.)) straight into our brains ((The aluminum foil hat doesn’t go with my shoes.)) you’d think we’d be hard-pressed to find any interviews that hadn’t filled up *someone’s* empty airtime. I mean, have you *seen* the crap on FOX and CNN?

But succeed we did, three times over. These interviews have been in the vaults, in one case for millenia, and unseen by the public until this week. Aren’t you lucky!

We’ve got friends, Romans, and quarterbacks this week. Take a look and don’t forget to send your friends on by. We’re always open.

Next week’s cue promises to be explosive. Be sure to come back around when the sketch warriors take on, The State of Healthcare.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Mother’s Day Wrapup

With a topic as rich and pregnant with possibilities as this, I’d hoped the warriors would have come from far and wide to toss their humor grenades into the ring. Then I remembered not *every* comedy writer has a Jewish mother. While being chosen isn’t a requirement for being funny ((Richard Pryor: non-Jew.)) and is certainly no predictor for comic ability, ((Howie Mandel: Jew.)) it does give us an edge in writing funny stuff about mothers.

I mean, with my goyim friends, what can they do? Make fun of sandwiches made with mayonnaise and white bread? Mock index funds? Mine comedy out of minivans?

So we had a short week, but three excellent entries:

Blow up sex dolls, truffle canapés, killer robots and disappointed mothers vie for your affection this week. Won’t you be a good boy or girl and just come by and say a little hello to your dear old sketch about mom? And would it kill you to tell your friends? Maybe while you get a haircut; you look a little shaggy.

Next week our sketch warriors will battle on the cue: Interviews That Never Aired.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Odd Sporting Events Wrapup

Not our best week ((I feel I’ve been saying that a lot lately.)) but I think the three sketches we’ve got this week are solid and funny.

Next week, next week…it’s going to be a good one, I can feel it. What topic is it that inspires such confidence? What topic makes me think “funny”? Mother’s Day.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Radio Serials Wrapup

Oops! Very late, sorry. I’ve had my nose buried in “Anathem” for the past few days, every moment I’m not working or sleeping, so I kinda let this slip. A bit. Again, sorry.

Anyway…

This week’s battle (normally I’d say next week there, you notice?) is Odd Sporting Events.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

The Taxman Cometh Wrapup

It looks like a few of our warriors got caught up having tea or standing in line at the Post Office this week. Either way, only three of us entered the ring. Fortunately (or un-, depending on your opinion) I stretched my entry into a four-part runner when I decided I hadn’t ended the first part strongly enough. So from three battlers: six sketches.

I wish we’d seen a few more takes on the topic, but maybe talking about taxes the same week they were due was too much to bear. Next week we’ll be closing our eyes and increasing our consumption of Ovaltine as we roll out sketches on the theme of Old-Time Radio Serials. As a side note, we could use some more sketch topics, so if you’ve got something you’d like to see us tackle, leave it in a comment.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Silent Scene Wrapup

Sorry. That’s all I’ve got to say about this past week’s topic. We tried, I swear.

Really, we’re all sorry. But the next battle…that should be…oh hell. It’ll be better than silent even if it’s not good. I promise that. This week: The Taxman Cometh.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

Since we haven’t been getting many votes on the polls (and since this battle was so painful,) I’m not putting up a poll this week. Let me know in comments if I should bother to bring that back next week and if y’all plan on voting. What’s truly sad is we weren’t even getting a vote from every *competitor*. That’s not a good sign.

CSI: Anywhere Wrapup

Damn Horatio Caine and his concern about cataracts!

Depending on how you want to count Ken’s brilliant four-part runner, this was either a banner week for us with eight sketches, or an average week with five. I think for voting and wrapup purposes we’ll call it five.

So what did the sketch warriors bring to this weeks topic?

Next week’s topic should provide an interesting challenge to our loquacious band of warrirors: Silent Scenes.

If you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.

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March Madness Wrapup

Whoops! Not only did this week’s topic bring us our fewest sketches in several weeks, but…um…this was not our best week. And that’s, o-kay. There were a few chuckles though, so let’s get to them.

Next week’s topic is CSI: Anywhere. Expect a lot of sunglasses and oneliners. And don’t forget to vote on your favorite sketch from this week.

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SNL Character Wrapup

I hope you all enjoyed following along this week as much as we enjoyed bringing these characters to life. In some ways, this was a really tough prompt, but I think everyone managed to bring their A game this week.

Nine sketches (thanks to a double bonus from Ken whose initial trepidation hid a torrent of creativity) and not a single Hans und Franz amongst them. Thank god.

We hit most of the eras of SNL: the classic ’70s, the Billy Crystal years, the Phil Hartman years, and even today. I’m very impressed by the breadth brought to bear this week.

Oh, and here’s something new…an opportunity for everyone to vote on their favorite sketches this week. That’s courage, I tell ya. Our readership isn’t so high that these numbers are going to be so big, but still we’ll try it out. Let us know if you like or dislike the poll.

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Next week, our brave combatants will tackle: March Madness. If you want a look ahead, be sure to check out our Schedule here on Sketch War.

And remember, if you think you’ve got the comedy chops to do battle with our scarred and bitter warriors, if you dare step into the hailstorm of seltzer and cream pies, if you think you’re MAN ENOUGH or WOMAN ENOUGH to make us laugh, write a sketch and contact us at submissions(nospam)@sketchwar.org.