FADE IN: 

INT. BASEMENT – NIGHT

In a 70s suburban basement, three teenagers -- PAUL, DAVE, and ANDY -- play D&D with a fourth UNSEEN FIGURE.

PAUL

Okay, um -- Ragnor the thief has successfully uncharmed the vault door, and Abernathy pulls on it with his manly arms.

DAVE

Uh-huh?

PAUL

It creaks open --

ANDY

I want to search for --

PAUL

Wait, no -- three orcs come rushing out!

DAVE

Oh, man!

Paul hands some dice to the unseen figure.

PAUL

Okay, Hilter -- roll for initiative.

Yes, the unseen figure is Hitler, ca. 1943, in uniform, even.

HITLER

Die Aufnahmefähigkeit der großen Masse ist nur sehr beschränkt!

PAUL

Yes, yes, you still get plus two from the enchanted amulet.

CUT TO BRIEF STATIC.

INT. MONSTER TRUCK RALLY – NIGHT

CLEL, JED, and CLETUS (stereotypical rednecks) sit in the bleaches at a monster truck rally.

Next to them sits NOEL COWARD, who wears an Edwardian tux, top hat, and monocle.

JETHRO arrives.

CLETUS

Jethro! Welcome to the Hoosierdrome bi-annual monster truck rally!

JETHRO

Thanks.

CLETUS

This is Jed, Clel, and, of course, Noel Coward.

NOEL COWARD

Delighted as always, dear boy.

JETHRO

I ain’t sittin’ by him! He always smells funny.

NOEL COWARD

No need for rudeness, chum, unless we’re around the French.

CUT TO BRIEF STATIC.

INT. SOAP-OPERA LIVING ROOM – DAY

BLAKE (late 30s, suit, eye patch) bursts into a well-appointed living room.

He sees before him: a heavily made-up SAMANTHA, embracing a small, boxy REPAIRBOT.

HUNK

Samantha! I knew it!

REPAIRBOT

(classic robot monotone)

It is not as it appears.

SAMANTHA

I couldn’t stand it, Blake! The way you neglected me! I needed a real man!

REPAIRBOT

Repairbot is not a real man.

BLAKE

Repairbot! I thought you loved me!

REPAIRBOT

Repairbot does not love. Repairbot only makes repairs.

SAMANTHA

He’s with me now, Blake!

REPAIRBOT

Will anyone ever tell Repairbot where the malfunctioning A/C unit is?

CUT TO BRIEF STATIC.

INT. WRITERS’ ROOM – DAY

Two WRITERS stand beside a small flip chart in a plain office with a closed door.

The front page lists three items:

* Hitler playing D&D

* Noel Coward at a monster truck rally

* Repair robot on a soap opera

Two EXECUTIVES look askance at the list.

EXECUTIVE #1

Not loving this.

EXECUTIVE #2

See, when we said we wanted ‘a fish out of water,’ we meant it a little more literally.

WRITER #1

Like -- a fish at the fish market?

WRITER #2

Or a beached whale?

EXECUTIVE #1

Ha! No, no, no.

EXECUTIVE #2

We meant a magical fish! A fish that doesn’t need water! and flies through space!

The door opens.

A large, floating fish (SPACEFISH) comes in.

SPACEFISH

You called?

The executives are aglow with excitement.

EXECUTIVES

Spacefish!

The fish begins singing to the camera.

SPACEFISH

Spacefish! Spacefish!

SERIES OF SHOTS: 

A) Spacefish looks on as Kennedy’s fatal motorcade passes through Dallas.

B) Spacefish faces down a medieval knight.

C) Spacefish is held in a UFO tractor beam.

D) Spacefish flees from armed banditos in the Old West.

As we optical-wipe from one shot to the next, Spacefish streaks across the screen, Starship-Enterprese-style.

Meanwhile, the singing continues:

SPACEFISH (V.O.)

Spacefish, creature of mystery. / Spacefish, going through history. / A magical fish that can fly on a wish through the air! through the air! / He’s! Space! Fish!

One last streak across the screen.

FREEZE FRAME on the fish.

FADE TO BLACK.