FADE IN: 

INT. POWER-PLANT OFFICE – DAY

STEVE (40s) sits behind a desk in a boxy, gray office.

Schematics and photos of nuclear reactors line the walls; a large, friendly advertising poster (“Happy Meadows Nuclear Power... Clean and Affordable Energy”) occupies the most prominent spot.

A thick-looking gray binder sits on the desk.

VLAD (30s) knocks and pushes the door open.

STEVE

Vlad!

Vlad speaks with a clear Russian accent.

VLAD

You asked about the cavitation sensor --

STEVE

This isn’t that.

VLAD

We replaced its through-line capacitor, and we only need you to sign off --

STEVE

In a second, Vlad.

Steve gestures towards a seat.

Vlad sits.

STEVE

As of today, you are officially a level-one nuclear technician!

VLAD

I got the promotion?

They share a laugh and a handshake.

Steve dusts off the binder.

STEVE

Just a quick formality and we’ll get you set up.

Steve reads from the first page.

STEVE

Are you, or have you ever been, a Communist?

VLAD

What?

STEVE

It’s security regulations. Your new post is core-critical, so I have to ask these questions.

VLAD

Okay, um, not a Coummunist.

Steve marks down the answer.

VLAD

Why are you asking --

STEVE

These were written in 1958.

VLAD

No one updated the security questions in fifty years?

STEVE

They’re nuclear regulations, Vlad.

VLAD

Good point.

STEVE

Now: have you ever been in a group or agency bent on undermining western capitalism?

VLAD

(sarcastic)

Yes, Mother Russia will expand her great Communist Empire to every corner of the --

STEVE

I’m gonna put down “No.”

VLAD

Why don’t you ask if I am in Al Qaeda or something?

STEVE

Oh, that’s the new subsection.

VLAD

Ask me those questions.

STEVE

There aren’t any questions, just -- well -- are you Middle Eastern? No.

He marks that down.

VLAD

Was that -- that was a racial profile!

STEVE

Which you passed! Okay, are you or any of your family a Russian national?

VLAD

I’m from Moscow, Steve. Tasha is from St. Petersburg. You know this already.

STEVE

Well, just -- can’t you just say you’re from Jersey or something?

VLAD

You know what? No. I won’t. These regs are stupid and insulting. I’m proud to be Russian and, even though I really want the promotion --

STEVE

Hold up, hold up. Okay, we can list you as Russian, if we claim you’re a double agent.

VLAD

I will not -- a double agent?

STEVE

We can say that you’re a Russian spy feeding misinformation back to Central Committee.

VLAD

That actually sounds kind of cool.

Steve pulls a microfiche canister out of a cabinet.

STEVE

You just have to send one of these microfiches canisters to Russia every month or so.

Vlad takes the microfiche, unspools a bit, studies it.

VLAD

I can send these to random friends back home.

STEVE

And you can explain to them why they’re getting slightly incorrect schematics of fifty-year-old ordnance on a medium that was end-of-lifed twenty years ago.

VLAD

Perhaps more fun if I don’t.

Steve stands.

STEVE

So. The cavitation sensor?

Vlad stands.

VLAD

It just needs a quick look.

They go to the door.

VLAD

You don’t think I’d really -- y’know...

STEVE

Of course not.

They exit.

STEVE (O.S.)

If this plant melts down, it’ll melt down the old-fashioned way: through well-intentioned incompetence.

VLAD (O.S.)

Amen.

FADE OUT.