Here’s my take on the “End of an Era” edition of Sketchwar.
INT. TV STUDIO – DAY
THEME MUSIC PLAYS and a “Showbiz News!” logo briefly appears over a slick TV studio.
LOGAN (30, ‘talking hairdo’) sits opposite JOE (40s, average-looking, haunted).
LOGAN
Welcome back to Showbiz News! With me now, Joe Targonski, creator and executive producer of That Nutty Moose, which just finished a ten-year network run!
JOE
Glad to be here.
LOGAN
Joe, how did you keep coming up with the comedy?
JOE
We kind of repeated ourselves. We’ve done a dozen episodes where Max and Larissa have a fight, and then Moosey gets them back together. Eventually you just go with what works. Over and over and over again.
LOGAN
And hey -- the people love it!
JOE
Y’know, the only people who talk to me about That Nutty Moose tell me it embodies everything awful about TV.
LOGAN
No, we love Moosey! How’d you come up with that ‘talking moose’ idea, anyhow?
JOE
Not my idea. The network added the talking moose early in the first season.
LOGAN
Wow. What would That Nutty Moose be without Moosey?
JOE
It would be an tender, affectionate look back at the Minnesota town I grew up in.
LOGAN
Phaugh! And then, of course: upgrade! Moosey became a CGI talking moose!
Joe shudders.
LOGAN
Which opened the door to dance numbers! I just love it when Moosey raps. It’s so fresh!
Joe pulls out a flask and takes a drink.
LOGAN
I gotta ask this: how about that “Who shot Moosey?” storyline?
JOE
Yeah. That. The network made us say, “It was all a dream!”
LOGAN
Such a twist! And then season 2, when the whole cast tried to force Moosey into a wood chipper!
JOE
We got some network pushback on our original ending to that.
LOGAN
It’s like you’ve tried to kill Moosey, over and over again, violently, but the network won’t allow it!
JOE
Oh, that’s ridiculous, Logan.
Swig.
LOGAN
Just joshin’ you, there! But, seriously: a ten-year run. That Nutty Moose has practically been your whole life, for a decade!
JOE
I even have dreams about it.
LOGAN
Wow.
JOE
Boring, clichéd dreams.
LOGAN
Will you maybe do a spinoff?
JOE
NO!
An INTERN hands Logan a sheet of paper.
Logan reads it.
JOE
I mean, I think we’ve finished the story of Moose Hollow.
LOGAN
Hey, hold the phone! Looks like the network has opened up five hours of prime-time real estate! Maybe your show will go another season?
Joe lays his head on the desk and stares into the distance.
LOGAN
Hey, Joe, before we go to commercial, you wanna sing the theme song with me?
JOE
I want to die!
The “Showbiz News!” logo reappears.
A bit of the THEME SONG TO THAT NUTTY MOOSE PLAYS:
SINGERS (O.S.)
He’s wacky and Canadian! / He’s that nutty moose!
FADE OUT.