Category: Sketches

  • Friday Sketch War: Holiday Edition

    My week off didn’t necessarily inspire any great writing this week. But the blowing snow that I woke up to did. For whatever twisted reason, my brain has had “Deck the Halls” on constant repeat in my head. It looks like Richard took some time away from praying to the Basketball and Porcelain Gods to…

  • FSW: The Pep Talk

    I’d like to pre-apologize for this sketch. My week so far: dirty, nasty unclean hands of a salad chef (I believe that was the source) gave me salmonella on Tuesday I tried desperately to give it back, all of it back, on Wednesday (and today) Got to work at 4am this morning so I could…

  • FSW: Red’s Welcome

    Apologies for being late with this one; it had to go through a little more processing than usual. It’s not as funny as some weeks, but it wasn’t written with that solely in mind. I hope you all enjoy. David’s had his up since yesterday here. It’s very funny, especially if you know someone like…

  • The Wine Tasting

    (A wine SALES REP stands behind a table, impassive, bored. On the table are several different bottles of wine. Enter a young WOMAN carrying a plastic wineglass. The SALES REP slips into sales mode.) SALES REPGood evening. WOMANGood evening! What do you have here? SALES REPThese are the wines of Chile and Argentina. WOMANOh, that…

  • It’s Three A.M.

    (Nighttime. The Oval Office is dark and empty. Several moments pass. Then the calm is pierced by the sound of a phone ringing. It rings a second time. And a third. Finally, we hear the shuffling of someone approaching. The door opens, and in stumbles PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA, tightening the belt on his bathrobe. He…

  • Friday Sketch War: New Job Edition

    What time is it, kids? That’s right! It’s Sketch War time! You say you want to get in on the action? Great! Just write a sketch and post a link. It’s just that easy. I thought I’d be the first one out of the gate this morning, but Richard’s the early bird today. Bastard. Update:…

  • FSW: Fight the Patriarchy

    I’m firing off an early attack in an attempt to draw First Blood. Or maybe to draw Rambo: First Blood Part 2. Should any new grapplers feel up to entering the Sumo ring of sketch war, please email a link to your submission (or its full text if you are homepageless) to sketchwar_at_dreamloom_dot_com. Fight the…

  • Rules & Regs

    (CHERYL is in her cubicle, talking on the phone.) CHERYLI know, Sue, I couldn’t believe it either… No, you were so right to feel that way…(GREG enters and stands in the doorway. CHERYL sees him but continues talking.)Don’t be. He shouldn’t have been taking up two seats.(GREG knocks softly on the doorway. CHERYL holds up…

  • Friday Sketch War

    Full Disclosure: I’ve been dealing with some family issues and haven’t had much of a chance to write this week. I wrote this sketch for a class I took a while back. Though I have made some changes to it. I hope to have something brand, spanking new for next week’s skirmish. Update: Richard’s arrived…

  • FSW: 2008 NFL Combine

    (Scott Van Pelt and Mel Kiper stand in a broadcast booth at an arena. Graphics read “2008 NFL COMBINE”.) SCOTTWelcome back. I’m joined now in the booth by Mel Kiper. Mel, what are your thoughts on the first three days of competition? MELScott, this has been a great combine. It’s been an especially strong year…