{"id":106,"date":"2008-08-28T22:59:00","date_gmt":"2008-08-29T06:59:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=106"},"modified":"2008-08-28T22:59:00","modified_gmt":"2008-08-29T06:59:00","slug":"fsw-the-reunion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/?p=106","title":{"rendered":"FSW: The Reunion"},"content":{"rendered":"

Newest warrior Ken<\/a> got theme honors this week and selected gatherings<\/b>. I’ve been only moderately happy with my entries of late, so I reached back several months to a sketch I’m still quite proud of<\/a> for inspiration. This entry would benefit greatly from a second draft and a little polish, but I’m posting this early on Thursday morning before going offline for the weekend. I hope y’all appreciate it a bit as it stands.<\/i>

<\/i>
I believe it is my turn to select the theme again, so I’m going to go with…ooh, this is a nasty one…funerals<\/b>.<\/i>

<\/i>
If you want to get in on the fun, email a link to your sketch – or its full text if you’ve got no web home – by midnight, next Friday to sketchwar at dreamloom.com
<\/i><\/p>\n

The Reunion<\/b>
(ROB, late 20s and weary, wears a wrinkled dress shirt. He sits at a table in a gaily decorated high school gym. He is joined by RICH and SCOTT, also late 20s, equally rumpled.)<\/p>\n

RICH
Cathy looks good. You should go talk to her.<\/p>\n

ROB
I don’t know, it’s weird. Bill’s watching.<\/p>\n

SCOTT
Dude, it’s Cathy. You mooned about her all through high school–<\/p>\n

RICH
–since sixth grade.<\/p>\n

SCOTT
Seriously? Then too?<\/p>\n

RICH
Yeah. It was hilarious. He was what, five foot even, and she was as tall as she is today, but he thought he had a shot.<\/p>\n

ROB
Thanks. I just…it’s different now.<\/p>\n

RICH
Yeah. Now you have a shot. Come on.<\/p>\n

(ROB gets up and shuffles to CATHY’s table. She’s a classic blond beauty, 10 years lovelier than when she was homecoming queen.)<\/p>\n

ROB
Hey, Cath.<\/p>\n

CATHY
Hey, Rob. I was wondering when you’d finally come say hi.<\/p>\n

ROB
I just…<\/p>\n

(Freeze. DUDE-ROB, late teens and dressed like Rob but rattier, enters and stands next to Rob.)<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Aw, man she looks good! Tell her you were busy talking to your Lamborghini mechanic. Chicks dig hot cars.<\/p>\n

ROB
No, I think I’ve got this, thanks.<\/p>\n

(Unfreeze.)<\/p>\n

ROB (CONT’D)
I just don’t know what to say. Bill’s here with you, right?<\/p>\n

CATHY
Rob, things are complicated with me and Bill.<\/p>\n

(BILL walks up. He’s a classic athlete, 10 years balder and seedier than when he was a star, but still rocking his letterman’s jacket. He sits opposite Cathy.)<\/p>\n

BILL
Hey, Rob.<\/p>\n

ROB
Uh, hi Bill.<\/p>\n

BILL
You two keep talking. Don’t mind me.<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Man, you can totally kick his ass now! Remember that atomic wedgie he gave you on the field trip to Colonial Williamsburg? Now’s your chance! Get him back.<\/p>\n

(Freeze. WISE-ROB, dressed like Rob but nattier, silver at the temples and horn-rimmed glasses, stands next to Dude-Rob.)<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
Violence never solved anything. Turn the other cheek.<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Pussy!<\/p>\n

ROB
I’m not going to fight him.<\/p>\n

(JOCK-BILL enters. He’s a behemoth in his letterman’s jacket. Built like a lineman with the skills of a QB.)<\/p>\n

JOCK-BILL
Of course he’s not going to fight. He’s always been a pussy.<\/p>\n

(Dude-Rob moves behind Rob to shield himself.)<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
William, you scare no one. (Indicates Bill) Look at you. You’re probably wrestling with your inner demons as we speak, fighting to suppress your latent tendencies.<\/p>\n

JOCK-BILL
What the hell’s that mean, four-eyes.<\/p>\n

(OLD-BILL flounces in. He’s in his 50s, happy, and wearing a boa. Yes. I went there.)<\/p>\n

OLD-BILL
Don’t be rude! (Flirty to Wise-Rob) Hi, Rob!<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
(Uncomfortable) Uh, hello Bill.<\/p>\n

(Everyone unfreezes.)<\/p>\n

CATHY
Bill and I are separated. He wouldn’t come tonight by himself.<\/p>\n

ROB
Wow. I…are you guys okay?<\/p>\n

BILL
Yeah. I’m just really confused lately.<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Goddamn right you’re confused, fairy!<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
Rob! Grow up! (To Old-Bill) I’m sorry.<\/p>\n

OLD-BILL
It’s alright. It doesn’t bother me anymore.<\/p>\n

JOCK-BILL
I should kick your ass, old man!<\/p>\n

OLD-BILL
As if! Bring it on, junior!<\/p>\n

(Jock-Bill tackles Old-Bill and they thrash about on the floor. Bill watches dispassionately. Dude-Rob and Wise-Rob pretend to look away.)<\/p>\n

ROB
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope you figure things out. You were always such a cute couple.<\/p>\n

BILL
I bet you hated me, huh?<\/p>\n

CATHY
He didn’t hate you, Billy.<\/p>\n

BILL
It’s okay. I’d have hated me. I do hate me.<\/p>\n

(Old-Bill gets up and brushes off. Jock-Bill is down for the count.)<\/p>\n

BILL (CONT’D)
But I’m getting better now.<\/p>\n

(Bill gets up to leave.)<\/p>\n

BILL (CONT’D)
I’m going to stay at my parents’ tonight, okay? The house is yours.<\/p>\n

(Bill leans over to give Cathy a chaste peck on the cheek and leaves, OLD-BILL in tow.)<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Dude, she’s yours. Tap that fine ass!<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
“Tap that?” Are you twelve? She’s a woman, not a keg at one of your salacious parties. Rob, treat her with the respect and affection you’ve always had for her. Ah yes, of course! The poem!<\/p>\n

ROB
Poem? Oh, that. I don’t remember it.<\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
I do:
(snickering)
An hundred years should go to praise<\/i>
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;<\/i>
Two hundred to adore each breast,<\/i>
But thirty thousand to the rest;<\/i>
I know where I’d spend that 30000!<\/p>\n

WISE-ROB
Miscreant! I didn’t mean that. I meant:
(solemn)
But at my back I always hear<\/i>
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;<\/i>
And yonder all before us lie<\/i>
Deserts of vast eternity.
<\/i><\/p>\n

DUDE-ROB
Just ’cause you’re about to kick the bucket don’t mean he is.<\/p>\n

ROB
Guys! I’ll handle this.
(To Cathy)
You want to dance?<\/p>\n

BLACKOUT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Newest warrior Ken got theme honors this week and selected gatherings. I’ve been only moderately happy with my entries of late, so I reached back several months to a sketch I’m still quite proud of for inspiration. This entry would benefit greatly from a second draft and a little polish, but I’m posting this early […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[99,182],"class_list":["post-106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-humor","tag-sketch-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=106"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/106\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=106"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=106"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=106"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}