here for the Scribd version<\/a>. It’s not radically different in appearance, except that the dual dialog is better laid out.<\/p>\nOh, and yes. This would have to be animated. Assume Hanna-Barbera style.<\/i><\/p>\n
Change We Can Believe In<\/b>
INT. STAGE – DAY
(JOHN MCCAIN and SARAH PALIN in front of a green screen. He just can\u2019t get away from them.)<\/p>\n
JOHN
People like to bandy the word ‘change’ around a lot. My opponent–<\/p>\n
SARAH
Our opponent.<\/p>\n
JOHN
(flinching like a frequently whipped dog)
Yes Sarah. Our opponent wants you to believe change comes from diplomacy, compromise, and hard work. That\u2019s simply not true.<\/p>\n
SARAH
That\u2019s right, John. Real change comes from magic rings.<\/p>\n
(John and Sarah brandish IDENTICAL RINGS on their upheld fists.)<\/p>\n
SARAH (CONT\u2019D)
Magic rings stolen from alien teenagers!<\/p>\n
JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!<\/p>\n
SARAH
Shape of…a Bald Eagle!<\/p>\n
JOHN
Form of…a puddle of dirty water! Just like the water on the floor of the cage I spent six years in being tortured daily. When I was a war hero.<\/p>\n
(Sarah and John transform into a bald eagle and puddle of
water respectively. Still able to speak, though.)<\/p>\n
SARAH
I\u2019m a small-town girl with small-town values. Values like honoring the symbol of our great nation and honoring our great war heroes.<\/p>\n
JOHN
Barack Obama called my running mate a pig. Does she look like a pig? No. She\u2019s a majestic eagle.<\/p>\n
(Sarah-eagle touches wingtip to John-puddle.)<\/p>\n
JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, deactivate!<\/p>\n
(In a flash, Sarah and John revert to their normal forms.)<\/p>\n
SARAH
The big-city elites want to take your guns away.<\/p>\n
JOHN
They want to teach your preschoolers about sex.<\/p>\n
SARAH
They want to take your pickups and SUVs away.<\/p>\n
(Sarah and John touch rings…)<\/p>\n
JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!<\/p>\n
SARAH
Form of…a completely safe and unthreatened polar bear!<\/p>\n
JOHN
Shape of…a piece of Arctic glacier, undisturbed by liberal lies about global warming.<\/p>\n
(Sarah and John transform again. Sarah-bear stands atop John-ice.)<\/p>\n
SARAH
My opponent–<\/p>\n
JOHN
(timidly)
–actually, he\u2019s my opponent, Sarah.<\/p>\n
SARAH
Right. Our opponent wants you to drive a hybrid. Or walk! He wants you to believe in global warming. Well, I\u2019m from the great state of Alaska and I can tell you, it\u2019s
not getting any warmer!<\/p>\n
JOHN
Well, it is getting warmer, Sarah. But the science isn\u2019t conclusive as to whether our actions have anything–<\/p>\n
SARAH
–I said it\u2019s not getting warmer, John!<\/p>\n
JOHN
Right. Sorry, Sarah.<\/p>\n
JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, deactivate!<\/p>\n
(Sarah-bear and John-ice touch and transform.)<\/p>\n
SARAH
Every day I wake up, I have to worry about the threat of Russian invasion. Barack Obama wants to disband the military and send all your children to madrassas. That\u2019s not change we can believe in.
(beat)
This is change we can believe in…<\/p>\n
(Sarah and John touch rings again…)<\/p>\n
JOHN & SARAH
Wonder Twin powers, activate!<\/p>\n
JOHN
Shape of…a bucket of tears. The tears I cried each night after the Vietcong had tortured and beaten me trying to make me turn against America. America, the greatest
country on Earth! <\/p>\n
(John transforms into a bucket of tears. It\u2019s magic. Don\u2019t ask.)<\/p>\n
SARAH
Form of…a moose! <\/p>\n
(Sarah transforms into a moose.)<\/p>\n
JOHN
That\u2019s quite a set of antlers you\u2019ve got there, Sarah.<\/p>\n
SARAH
What? Oh. Moose! Where\u2019s my gun! <\/p>\n
(Sarah-moose runs in circles a few times, finds a tophat, pulls a lion out of it…)<\/p>\n
SARAH
Guess I don\u2019t know my own strength.<\/p>\n
(Sarah-moose pushes the lion back in and pulls out a rifle and shoots herself!)<\/p>\n
JOHN
Sarah! Sarah, are you alright?<\/p>\n
(Sarah\u2019s dead.)<\/p>\n
JOHN
Oh, great. Now I\u2019m stuck like this.<\/p>\n
EXT. PODIUM – DAY
(Bunting and flags everywhere on this cold January day. It\u2019s inauguration day. JOE LIEBERMAN stands behind a dais holding John-bucket-of-tears up to a microphone.)<\/p>\n
JOE
John, John!
(calling off stage)
Someone get me a hotplate! The President\u2019s frozen again!<\/p>\n
BLACKOUT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This weeks’s topic, selected by Michael, was change. I figured I should go with the season, and go with the political flow. Let’s give honors to…Ken for next week. Ken, pick it and put in comments! If you want to read this the way it really should be formatted, click here for the Scribd version. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[112,113,150,173,182],"class_list":["post-113","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-joe-lieberman","tag-john-mccain","tag-politics","tag-sarah-palin","tag-sketch-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=113"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/113\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=113"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=113"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=113"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}