I suppose after all these years, I’m realizing that these tales are less “science fiction” and more “horror.”
\n
\n(Music intro, as before)<\/i><\/p>\n
NARRATOR
\nTurn down the lights and lock the doors, gentle listeners. It’s time for another episode of… Boring Science Fiction Theatre!<\/i>
\n(Burst of thunder…)<\/i>
\nThis week’s episode… Frankenstein’s Sandwich!<\/i>
\n(Music fades, replaced by sounds of DR FRANKENSTEIN tinkering in the kitchen for a few seconds, making a midnight snack. Crickets hum away in the background. Silverware on silverware, plate on plate, plate on silverware, etc. This continues under…)<\/i>
\nWe introduce Bob Frankenstein, a self-proclaimed master chef of the midnight snack. Little does he realize he’s about to smother his sandwich… with the unknown!<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB FRANKENSTEIN
\n(muttering)<\/i>
\nYes… My precious condiments… My children…<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(entering, in mid-yawn)<\/i>
\nBob? Bob, what are you doing up?<\/p>\n
BOB
\nI am creating, woman!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nBob, you just ate a few hours ago. We’ll go out for breakfast in the morning.<\/p>\n
BOB
\nBarbara, I will not let some short order cook tinker with my art! The refrigerator is my palette! The bread my canvas! The pickles my paints!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nPlease, Bob. You’ll be up all night. You’ll get crumbs in the sheets. Can’t I just have one night of peace-<\/p>\n
(crash as BOB slams his fists down on his plates – here the clinking stops)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB (furious)<\/i>
\nPeace?? You speak of peace, when at any moment I am on the brink of a culinary breakthrough? Where is the chicken?<\/p>\n
BARBARA:
\nChicken?<\/p>\n
(sound of a refrigerator opening, hummmmm)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\n(maniacal)<\/i>
\nI had a piece of leftover chicken! In the fridge! Wrapped in aluminum foil, woman!!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nOh. Yes, I threw it away this morning.<\/p>\n
(a moment of silence as BOB takes this in.)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\n(breathless, horrified)<\/i>
\nYou… Threw…<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nI think it was bad, honey. It was in there for a couple days.<\/p>\n
BOB
\nFoolish woman!
\n(slam! refrigerator shuts, humming stops)<\/i>
\nYou will retrieve it for me.<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nRetrieve it?<\/p>\n
BOB
\nYou heard me, Barbara! Go to the dumpster behind our apartment complex and bring me back my chicken! Or my work is ruined!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(her voice getting softer as she retreats)<\/i>
\nAll right, I’ll get your damn chicken!<\/p>\n
(front door slams)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\nIt’s all right, my children… Soon we will show them all!<\/p>\n
(A clap of thunder takes us outside. The crickets are louder, perhaps we hear an owl. Also, the sound of BARBARA angrily crunching through the undergrowth. This continues under…)<\/i><\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(muttering)<\/i>
\nCan’t believe I’m out here. Retrieve the damn chicken. This is it, this is the last time I…
\n(trails off)<\/i>
\nHere we are.
\n(footsteps stop. sound of a dumpster being opened, followed by BARBARA rooting around through its contents)<\/i>
\nShould be near the top… Hmmm… This is the milk container I threw out, so… Here!
\n(BARBARA pulls out the foil-wrapped chicken)<\/i>
\nGot it!
\n(police siren in the distance)<\/i>
\nOh no.<\/p>\n
(police siren, still distant, dies down. Two car doors slamming, policemen yell from afar)<\/i><\/p>\n
OFFICER MIKE
\nYou there! What are you doing?<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nNothing! Nothing, officers…<\/p>\n
OFFICER STEVE
\nPut down that foil-covered object and put your hands up!<\/p>\n
(Sound of BARBARA running away through the undergrowth)<\/i><\/p>\n
OFFICER MIKE
\nHey! Come back!<\/p>\n
OFFICER STEVE
\nAfter her!<\/p>\n
(As BARBARA’s footsteps fade, the OFFICERS’ footsteps approach. Two gunshots. A dog barks a couple times in the distance. When the OFFICERS’ footsteps reach us, they come to a halt.)<\/i><\/p>\n
OFFICER MIKE
\n(panting)<\/i>
\nShe’s gone…<\/p>\n
OFFICER STEVE
\n(also panting)<\/i>
\nShe disappeared… down the alley… By the old Frankenstein apartment building…<\/p>\n
OFFICER MIKE
\nThat’s the third dumpster robbery in the area this week. What could be going on around here?<\/p>\n
OFFICER STEVE
\nI don’t know, but it gives me the creeps. Let’s get outta here.<\/p>\n
(back inside the kitchen. crickets are muffled again. a few kitchen clinks. front door opens and closes)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\nBarbara? Is that you, you little Delilah?<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(approaching)<\/i>
\nYes, it’s me. Here’s your precious chicken. And I am never, ever doing this for you again.<\/p>\n
(the sound of chicken changing hands)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\nExcellent! Now leave my sight, woman!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(as she fades)<\/i>
\nOh, don’t worry, I’m leaving!<\/p>\n
(sound of the foil being removed from the chicken under…)<\/i><\/p>\n
BOB
\nYes, my lovely poultry! Nothing can stop us now! A quick trip to the microwave, and then I’ll have you! And wash you down with an iced caf\u00e9 mocha!
\n(microwave opens, closes, beeps, starts humming under BOB\u2019s maniacal creator laugh)<\/i>
\nAaaaaah-hah-hah-hah-hah-haaaaa!<\/p>\n
(the humming, and all other sound, fades to silence)<\/i><\/p>\n
NARRATOR
\nThe next morning…<\/p>\n
BOB
\n(ill)<\/i>
\nOhhhhh…<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\nHoney! Are you all right? You’re pale!<\/p>\n
BOB
\nHeadache… Nausea… My beautiful creation has turned on me!<\/p>\n
BARBARA
\n(sternly)<\/i>
\nBob Frankenstein… When will you stop playing God??!<\/p>\n
(Creepy organ music bursts in. NARRATOR speaks over it)<\/i><\/p>\n
NARRATOR
\nBe sure to tune in for next week’s horrifying episode… The Identical Aliens!<\/p>\n
(Organ music fades)<\/i><\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\n(threateningly)<\/i>
\nAll right, Moon-Man. We know you came from the wreckage of that flying saucer down by Miller’s Creek.<\/p>\n
ALIEN
\nYes, that’s right.<\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\nIt was hard to pick you out, since you have the same height, skin tone, language skills, and general physical appearance as any earthling.<\/p>\n
ALIEN
\nYes! That’s uncanny, isn’t it?<\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\nHave you come to enslave us? Destroy us with your superior technology?<\/p>\n
ALIEN
\n(amused)<\/i>
\nHa! No, nothing like that. We certainly have no superior technology.<\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\nHave you come to warn us of impending doom or spread a message of peace from your advanced civilization?<\/p>\n
ALIEN
\nNo, certainly not. We’re just as advanced as you are, no more, no less.<\/p>\n
STACEY
\nDaddy, I have a confession to make…<\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\nWhat is it, sweetheart?<\/p>\n
STACEY
\nI’m pregnant with the alien’s love child!<\/p>\n
DR. ADAM HORN
\nDear Lord! What frightful mutant will result from this unholy union??!!<\/p>\n
(Organ music flourish and out)<\/i><\/p>\n
fin<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I suppose after all these years, I’m realizing that these tales are less “science fiction” and more “horror.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}