{"id":131,"date":"2008-10-17T11:29:00","date_gmt":"2008-10-17T19:29:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=131"},"modified":"2008-10-17T11:29:00","modified_gmt":"2008-10-17T19:29:00","slug":"fsw-best-friends-edition-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/?p=131","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Best Friends Edition"},"content":{"rendered":"

Stop, hey what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s goin down….it’s the FRIDAY SKETCH WAR – BEST FRIENDS EDITION!!! <\/strong>And this week, I took “war” a little too literally.<\/span><\/p>\n

Richard gave our theme last week – not sure who theme duties fall to this week since Michael’s status is up in the air, but Dave rejoined the battle week!<\/span><\/p>\n

I’ll post updated links as combatants report to the arena.<\/span><\/p>\n

UPDATED: <\/strong>Michael snuck in when I wasn’t looking (well before I posted actually), and gave us a tale of banks, dildos, and prarie dogs<\/a> (welcome back to the blogospehere Michael – even if is just a Friday drive-by). He also provided next week’s theme: Mad Scientist. More updates as others report in.<\/span><\/p>\n

__________________________________________________________________<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

EXT. VIETNAM JUNGLE 1968 – NIGHT
Explosions and sound of automatic gunfire can be heard from every side – we\u2019re in the middle of a nighttime jungle firefight. People are screaming and voices can be heard barking orders in military jargon, planes streak past overhead.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE, an African-American US soldier in his early 20\u2019s enters, supporting CHARGER, a burly square jawed white soldier also in his early 20\u2019s who appears to be wounded. Both wear jungle camo fatigues. SOUTHSIDE sets CHARGER down on the ground and pulls off his backpack. CHARGER grunts and grabs his leg in pain as SOUTHSIDE starts pulling medical supplies out of his pack and treating CHARGER.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Hang on man, we\u2019re gonna to get you outta here. You\u2019re gonna make it.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
It\u2019s bad man….I know it\u2019s bad. You don\u2019t have to lie to me.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Stay with me Charger….do not give up!<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
I always knew I\u2019d buy it in \u2018Nam, Southside…that I\u2019d end up dying for my country. But…I….<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
You got something to say, now\u2019s the time.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
There\u2019s a hundred ways to buy it in the Nam, Southside. But I\u2019m glad I get to go with you by my side. You\u2019ve been the best buddy a guy could ever have…always there for me no matter what.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Hang on man…hang on….we gonna get you home, I promise you.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
No man, I ain\u2019t gettin\u2019 out of this jungle alive, but you are…and you gotta live for me…gotta do the livin\u2019 for both of us from now on, you understand?<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Yeah, I hear you….what you want me to do for you brother?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Make America mean something again….make it a shining beacon of truth and justice in the world
SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
I will, man, I promise I will<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Fight for clean air…<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Until my dying day<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
And for pure water…<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
With every ounce of my strength…<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
And fight to make sure no black man ever becomes president.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Excuse me?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
You gotta make that happen for me since I can\u2019t!<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Did you just tell me….ME…a black man, your best friend in Vietnam….the dude tryin to save your life, to make sure a black man never becomes president???<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Oh thank God, you understand.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
What the fuck Man?You can NOT be that much of a redneck. We been best friends the entire time been in country, and the whole time we were in bootcamp before that. My redneck detector would have gone apeshit a long time ago if you were bullshittin this whole time..<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Power and money is all us white guys have left.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Ain\u2019t that enough?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
No man…Black musicians are cooler than whites, black athletes are better than white atletes, black men have bigger…<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
That\u2019s a myth.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Remember the barracks showers at Fort Bragg?<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
(smiling)<\/span><\/em>
Okay, you got me. But look…we may be great athletes, but it\u2019s rich white guys that own the teams.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Just when we\u2019re old – it\u2019s the only way white guys get laid after 55.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Good point.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Look man…white guys are losing all the cool stuff. Being president is the last great dream white kids can have without fear of competition.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
So I should never let a black man be president.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Never<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Not even if the whole country is going to shit and the black man in question was like super-smart and had all kinds of great ideas on how to fix things?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Every dumb white person in the US would move to Canada if a smart black man had to bail their asses out.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Might not be so bad.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
You want a war with Canada?<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Charger, man, I love you like a brother, but you ask too much<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
It\u2019s my dying wish man…you gotta do this for me<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
What if our positions were reversed….what if I were dying and told you you\u2019d HAVE to vote for a black president someday if the right guy came along?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
I…..I don\u2019t know….<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
What if I was dyin\u2019 cause I took a bullet to save you?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Yeah..I\u2019d do it for you…without thinking…you\u2019re my best friend…I\u2019d owe you my life<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
So IF you owed me your life, you\u2019d vote for a black president someday?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
If I owed you my life, I\u2019d do anything to repay that debt.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Then you, my brother, are votin\u2019 black.<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
What?<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Man I stopped you bleedin\u2019 five minutes ago. You\u2019re gonna be fine.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE helps CHARGER stand up. CHARGER tests his leg, looks down and see that it isn\u2019t bleeding.<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
Shit<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
C\u2019mon man, let\u2019s get you back – an evac helicopter just landed over there<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE helps CHARGER limp offstage<\/p>\n

<\/span><\/em>SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
What about a woman president?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/stro\nng>
No way…maybe a woman vice president if she was really hot.<\/p>\n

SOUTHSIDE<\/u><\/strong>
Plays into that whole great white dream thing again doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n

CHARGER<\/u><\/strong>
(smiling)<\/span><\/em>
Oh hell yeah.<\/p>\n

BLACK OUT <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Stop, hey what’s that sound? Everybody look what’s goin down….it’s the FRIDAY SKETCH WAR – BEST FRIENDS EDITION!!! And this week, I took “war” a little too literally. Richard gave our theme last week – not sure who theme duties fall to this week since Michael’s status is up in the air, but Dave rejoined […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[73,76,153,180,224],"class_list":["post-131","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-friday-sketch-war","tag-fsw","tag-presidential-election","tag-sketch","tag-vietnam"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=131"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/131\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=131"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=131"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=131"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}