Ever so sorry to have come up with this idjotic theme. Sadly, *this* was probably the best effort I was going to be able to produce. I went back to the well, sort of, and then let the spirit of Our Gang take over. I hope it doesn’t make y’all gag.<\/p>\n
Michael’s back on the grid and has already selected next week’s theme: Mad Scientist<\/b>. <\/p>\n
As usual, if you want to play along with us, email a link to your entry to sketchwar at dreamloom.com.<\/i><\/p>\n
Best Friends<\/b><\/p>\n INT: CLUBHOUSE – DAY<\/p>\n JOHN, a stocky white boy in shorts and a too-tight button-up shirt sits at the front table. BARRY, a long lean black kid wearing a black suit, white shirt, and bow tie, sits next to his left. JOE, a skinny, nondescript white kid, sits to his right. A handful of other boys sit facing front. John bangs a gavel.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n I now bring this meeting of the He-Man Woman-Hater’s Club to order. Would the secretary please read the minutes from our last meeting?<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Freddy complained that we were all talking too much during his nap time and we took a vote. 8-2 in favor of making Freddy nap up in the old tree fort with one abstention.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n Who abstained?<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Freddy. He dozed off while we were talking about it.<\/p>\n (Beat)<\/p>\n Then the defense committee reported on the treaty negotiations with Cub Scout Troupe 163. They were at an impasse over access rights to cross 13th Street to get to Gargantuan Comics.<\/p>\n (Beat)<\/p>\n And Teddy asked for our help getting his sister’s doll out of Becker’s stream where it sank after he crashed his bike trying to jump the old footbridge.<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n I still don’t understand why he had the doll with him.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n Alright, let’s hear from the defense committee first.<\/p>\n THREE BOYS stand up. They’re dirty and scuffed up. One of them with a black eye, another with a fat lip. HARRY – skinny, blond, bespectacled – steps forward.<\/p>\n HARRY<\/p>\n They whipped us good. Cheaters. Tommy Monahan’s sister Rosie came with ’em. We didn’t stand a chance.<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n (Anxious)<\/p>\n Are you alright?<\/p>\n HARRY<\/p>\n Yeah, but when my mom catches sight of me she’s gonna have a fit.<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n No, I mean are you alright?<\/p>\n Barry and John turn to each other and roll their eyes.<\/p>\n HARRY<\/p>\n Oh, oh! Yeah, heck! I forgot!<\/p>\n Harry turns to the other two boys, both a little younger than he, and inoculates them.<\/p>\n HARRY (CONT’D)<\/p>\n (To the first boy)<\/p>\n Circle, circle, dot, dot. Now you’ve got the cootie shot.<\/p>\n (and the other)<\/p>\n Circle, circle, dot, dot. Now you’ve got the cootie shot.<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n Harry, you’d better get yourself taken care of too before you spread ’em.<\/p>\n HARRY<\/p>\n Yeah. Billy, can you give me the shot?<\/p>\n BILLY gets up. He’s thin, with brown hair and a drawl like sweet tea on a summer’s day.<\/p>\n BILLY<\/p>\n Can do, Harry.<\/p>\n They leave the clubhouse.<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n Guys, you’ve gotta be more careful. We don’t want another outbreak like last spring.<\/p>\n All the boys look up and to their left. The screen wavers and chimes play…<\/p>\n INT. CLASSROOM – DAY<\/p>\n Title: Last Spring<\/p>\n Barry stands in front of the class, singing. HILLARY watches with stars in her eyes.<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n (Singing)<\/p>\n You are my sunshine, my only sunshine John looks on with a squint. Barry returns to his desk, right next to Hillary’s. John gives him the ol’ stinkeye as he passes.<\/p>\n HILARY<\/p>\n Ooooh, Barry. That was dreamy!<\/p>\n The screen wavers and chimes play again…<\/p>\n INT. CLUBHOUSE – DAY<\/p>\n Title: Today<\/p>\n Everyone shakes their heads and gets out of flashback mode. Barry turns to John and extends his hand…<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Brothers forever, pal. No broad’s going to come between us again.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n (Shaking hands)<\/p>\n And how!<\/p>\n The door to the clubhouse opens. The defense committee comes back in, surrounding a girl! SARAH wears her brown hair in pigtails and the cutest little glasses. She carries a bb gun. All the boys in the clubhouse go nuts!<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n (Banging his gavel)<\/p>\n Order! Order! What’s she doing in here?<\/p>\n HARRY<\/p>\n We caught her spying outside.<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Is that true?<\/p>\n SARAH<\/p>\n Oh yeah, you betcha! I wanted to see what all the fuss was about, don’tcha know, so I scurried over here quick as a jackrabbit in deer season to peek through the knot hole. You boys sure like talkin’ don’tcha?<\/p>\n JOE<\/p>\n Girl! Girl!<\/p>\n Joe gets up and starts running around like a headless chicken…until he bounces right off a wall and falls straight on his backside to the SOUND FX of little birds chirping.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n There are no girls allowed in here, Sarah. This is the He-Man Woman-Hater’s Club.<\/p>\n SARAH<\/p>\n Oh John! You get so cute when you’re all flustered-like. Your cheeks get red as fresh venison and you huff and puff like a little choo-choo train! You’re so cute, I could just kiss ya!<\/p>\n John’s eyes bug out. Barry’s bow tie spins around as he stands gape-jawed.<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Well, now, Sarah. As you can surely deduce from the heretofore mentioned name, we have something of a exclusion policy with regard to persons of your gender–<\/p>\n SARAH<\/p>\n –There you go again! Gettin’ all uppity and high-falutin’ with your private school readin’ and vocab-uh-lary. Why’n’t you just talk like regular folks?<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n Sarah, is that an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model BB gun with a compass in the stock?<\/p>\n SARAH<\/p>\n It sure is, cutie-pie!<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Really, I must protest. Sarah just doesn’t belong here. We’ve still got club business to discuss.<\/p>\n JOHN<\/p>\n I could not disagree more. I think she brings a breath of fresh air to the place.<\/p>\n Sarah winks at John.<\/p>\n BARRY<\/p>\n Oh boy. Here we go again.<\/p>\n BLACKOUT<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Ever so sorry to have come up with this idjotic theme. Sadly, *this* was probably the best effort I was going to be able to produce. I went back to the well, sort of, and then let the spirit of Our Gang take over. I hope it doesn’t make y’all gag. Michael’s back on the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[99,182],"class_list":["post-134","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-humor","tag-sketch-war"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=134"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/134\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=134"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=134"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=134"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
You make me happy, when skies are gray
You’ll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away.<\/i><\/p>\n