{"id":151,"date":"2008-11-21T18:21:00","date_gmt":"2008-11-22T02:21:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wwwold.sketchwar.org\/?p=151"},"modified":"2008-11-21T18:21:00","modified_gmt":"2008-11-22T02:21:00","slug":"fsw-horrible-family-holidays-edition-peters-entry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/?p=151","title":{"rendered":"FSW: Horrible Family Holidays Edition (Peter’s Entry)"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

\nFriday Sketch War
\nHorrible Family Holidays Edition
\n“Ted’s Wake”<\/b><\/p>\n

FADE IN:<\/p>\n

INT. ELEVATOR LOBBY – NIGHT<\/p>\n

KATIE (27, black formalwear) paces in a posh elevator lobby, going over a handwritten speech.<\/p>\n

CROWD NOISES emanate from a closed door. Beside the door hangs a poster with a black-and-white photo of a scowling old man reads, “In Memoriam: Ted Reynaldo”. Beside the poster sits a chair.<\/p>\n

Christmas decorations adorn the walls.<\/p>\n

HOMER (23, black suit) breezes in through the door.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Katie! ‘sup!<\/p>\n

No repsonse.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Dad says it’s time to do the thing —<\/p>\n

The elevator BINGS. The door opens.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Dad can wait. I —<\/p>\n

And in the elevator, is —<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Sandra!<\/p>\n

— SANDRA (23), pretty and cheerful. She and Homer kiss. Homer points her at the room.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

I’ll be there in a second.<\/p>\n

Sandra heads in.<\/p>\n

Off of Katie’s look —<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

I met her last week. She’s, like, this really cool —<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

And you invited her to Uncle Ted’s wake?<\/p>\n

Homer just grins.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

(to herself)<\/p>\n

Do I do the prayer —<\/p>\n

The elevator BINGS.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

— or just go straight to the speech?<\/p>\n

A small crowd of people pile out of the elevator, carrying what look like Muppets.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

‘sup, guys!<\/p>\n

PUPPETEERS<\/p>\n

‘sup, Homer!<\/p>\n

They go into the room. Off of Katie’s look —<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Sandra’s, like, part of this puppeteering troupe.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

They do puppet shows.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

No. Why are they here?<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

I guess Sandra invited them.<\/p>\n

The NOISE from the room gets louder, more festive.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Did you actually tell any of these people this was a wake?<\/p>\n

Elevator BINGS.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

I — hmm. I said it was catered. I definitely said it was a Christmas party.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Oh god.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Well technically, it’s a party, and it’s Christmastime, right?<\/p>\n

A couple of DELIVERYMEN show up, pushing kegs on dollies.<\/p>\n

DELIVERYMAN<\/p>\n

Um — the Puppet Place Players?<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

In there.<\/p>\n

DELIVERYMAN<\/p>\n

Cool.<\/p>\n

They join the wake.<\/p>\n

The NOISE from the wake gets louder. MARIACHI MUSIC starts up.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

I guess I sort of told Sandra she could invite people, and they invited people —<\/p>\n

The elevator BINGS. A MOTLEY ASSORTMENT OF PARTYGOERS spill out.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

‘sup guys — it’s in there.<\/p>\n

The partygoers cheer, join the wake.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Who are they?<\/p>\n

Homer shrugs. Off of that —<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

I can’t believe you did this to me! I —<\/p>\n

Stops. Goes to the door. Looks in the room. Returns to Homer.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Mariachis? How did they even get in?<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

Oh, there’s this freight elevator, and it’s awesome, like this moving cavern, and —<\/p>\n

Katie collapses in the chair, distraught.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

I know I didn’t exactly like the guy, and I know I’d rather cram things under my fingernails than give this big speech about how great he was, but I got stuck with putting this together and I just want to do one thing right for this family! Is that so much to ask?! And then you go and —<\/p>\n

The elevator BINGS yet again, the doors open —<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

OH GOOD GOD WHAT NOW?!<\/p>\n

— and Katie finds herself face to face with a POLICE OFFICER standing in the elevator doorway.<\/p>\n

Awkward pause.<\/p>\n

HOMER<\/p>\n

‘sup, officer? My sister’s kind of off her meds.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Meds?!<\/p>\n

POLICE OFFICER<\/p>\n

We’ve had a noise complaint.<\/p>\n

KATIE<\/p>\n

Oh. Oh! Yeah, they’re right in there.<\/p>\n

POLICE OFFICER<\/p>\n

Thanks.<\/p>\n

The officer crosses to the door, opens it.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, Katie darts into the elevator. She drags Homer in after her. The elevator closes.<\/p>\n

POLICE OFFICER<\/p>\n

Puppets!<\/p>\n

The officer joins the wake.<\/p>\n

FADE OUT.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Friday Sketch War Horrible Family Holidays Edition “Ted’s Wake” FADE IN: INT. ELEVATOR LOBBY – NIGHT KATIE (27, black formalwear) paces in a posh elevator lobby, going over a handwritten speech. CROWD NOISES emanate from a closed door. Beside the door hangs a poster with a black-and-white photo of a scowling old man reads, “In […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[96],"class_list":["post-151","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-horrible-family-holidays"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=151"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/151\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=151"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=151"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=151"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}