(A WOMAN and MAN sit sullenly in a Paris caf\u00e9 in 1876. The woman stares ahead drunkenly, a glass of absinthe on the table in front of her. The man smokes a pipe and stares offstage. They sit next to each other but don\u2019t acknowledge each other. They are silent for several moments.)<\/i><\/p>\n
(Enter MARK and CAROLYN, two modern-day American tourists in their fifties. They wear Hawaiian shirts and carry maps and a digital camera. CAROLYN nudges MARK and points, none-too-subtly, at the French couple. MARK nods and snaps a picture of them.)<\/i><\/p>\n
(MARK and CAROLYN sit down next to the couple. MARK flags down a WAITER, who squints at them quizzically.)<\/i><\/p>\n
MARK
Deux absinthe, merci.<\/p>\n
(The WAITER contemplates them, bewildered, for a beat, then turns and exits.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Well, I thought that ballet was simply charming.<\/p>\n
MARK (reading a guidebook)<\/i>
Yes.<\/p>\n
(CAROLYN turns and speaks to the WOMAN.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Bon jour. We adore your ballet. We just came from there.<\/p>\n
(The WOMAN turns her ghostly gaze on CAROLYN and blinks languidly a few times. Apparently unsure whether or not MARK and CAROLYN are hallucinations, she returns to contemplating the middle distance.)<\/i><\/p>\n
MARK (to CAROLYN)<\/i>
Now, don\u2019t drink it until we\u2019ve prepared it.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Oh, will you get your nose out of that book? Relax!<\/p>\n
MARK
We have to do the ritual. Do you want to experience this or not?<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
We\u2019ll be fine.<\/p>\n
(The WAITER wheels a cart up to the table. He sets before MARK and CAROLYN two glasses of absinthe, a pitcher of water, a bowl of sugar cubes, and two flat metallic utensils.)<\/i><\/p>\n
MARK
Merci.<\/p>\n
(But the WAITER has already turned and begun wheeling the cart off.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN (delighted)<\/i>
Well look at this!
(She notices something missing.)<\/i>
Oop. We didn\u2019t get spoons. Waiter!<\/p>\n
MARK (holding up a flat utensil)<\/i>
No, these are the spoons.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
How are you supposed to stir with those?<\/p>\n
MARK
You don\u2019t stir. Look.
(MARK performs these steps as he describes them.)<\/i>
You set a spoon over the glass. Then you put a sugar cube on it.<\/p>\n
(CAROLYN turns to the WOMAN and whispers mischievously.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
This isn\u2019t legal in our country. Or time.<\/p>\n
MARK (continuing)<\/i>
Then you pour water over the sugar cube and into the glass until it gets milky.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Goodness!<\/p>\n
MARK
You try.<\/p>\n
(CAROLYN repeats the steps with her own glass.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Do we drink it now?<\/p>\n
MARK
Let\u2019s go for it!<\/p>\n
(MARK and CAROLYN raise their glasses to each other, then to the MAN and WOMAN, who ignore them. MARK and CAROLYN sip.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Oh, my gosh. It tastes like\u2026 Oh, I can\u2019t put my finger on it.<\/p>\n
MARK
It\u2019s bitter.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Crows. It tastes like Crows.<\/p>\n
MARK
What do you mean it tastes like crows?<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
The movie candy. Crows. They\u2019re like Dots, but they\u2019re black, and they taste like black Jujyfruits.<\/p>\n
MARK
Yeah. Licorice.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Oh!<\/p>\n
MARK
It\u2019s supposed to taste like licorice.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
I didn\u2019t know it was supposed to taste like black licorice. This whole time I was thinking red licorice.<\/p>\n
MARK
Red licorice isn\u2019t licorice.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
I thought it would be like a glass of strawberry liqueur. Like that Aliz\u00e9 strawberry liqueur?<\/p>\n
MARK
Aliz\u00e9 isn\u2019t strawberry, it\u2019s passion fruit.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Then what was the strawberry liqueur we had at that aquarium fundraiser? It was so fun!<\/p>\n
MARK
Dolfi.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Dolfi. I was thinking this whole time that we\u2019d be drinking strawberry Dolfi liqueur.<\/p>\n
MARK
Absinthe is green. Why would you expect a green drink to taste like strawberry?<\/p>\n
CAROLYN (to MAN)<\/i>
Excuse me.
(The MAN does not react.)<\/i>
Excuse\u2026 Par-done mwah, monsieur.
(The MAN slowly turns to CAROLYN.)<\/i>
I\u2019m sorry, would you mind putting out your pipe?
(The MAN continues sucking disinterestedly on his pipe.)<\/i>
We\u2019re American. It\u2019s just a little jarring.<\/p>\n
(The MAN slowly turns away again.)<\/i><\/p>\n
MARK (to CAROLYN)<\/i>
Do you want to switch seats?<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
No, I won\u2019t give him the satisfaction.<\/p>\n
MARK (whispering)<\/i>
They\u2019re French. They\u2019re notoriously rude. Do not take it personally.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN (a little louder than necessary)<\/i>
Well they have no problem taking our money personally.<\/p>\n
MARK
Shh. Switch places with me.<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Licorice isn\u2019t green either.<\/p>\n
MARK
Who said it was?<\/p>\n
CAROLYN
I don\u2019t think I like this. The bloom has just evaporated off the charm of the evening for me. I\u2019d like to go back to the hotel.<\/p>\n
(The WOMAN startles them by unleashing a long sigh of infinite sadness. MARK and CAROLYN look at her for several seconds, but she is unaware of their existence. The WAITER passes through again, and MARK flags him down.)<\/i><\/p>\n
MARK
The bill? Um\u2026 L\u2019addition, s\u2019il vous pla\u00eet?<\/p>\n
(MARK holds up a credit card. The WAITER makes no attempt to take it, staring back with a look of brazen, open-mouthed confusion.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
They won\u2019t have heard of credit cards, Mark.<\/p>\n
MARK
Oh, dammit, you\u2019re right.
(MARK takes a wad of paper money from his fanny pack.)<\/i>
French francs? Do you take French francs?<\/p>\n
(The WAITER blinks at them, then makes the vaguest cursory gesture excusing himself and exits.)<\/i><\/p>\n
CAROLYN
Just leave some money on the table, and let\u2019s go.<\/p>\n
(CAROLYN gets up and leaves. MARK counts out a few bills and sets them on the table. He follows CAROLYN off. A beat. The MAN refills his pipe, relights it, and puffs deeply.)<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(A WOMAN and MAN sit sullenly in a Paris caf\u00e9 in 1876. The woman stares ahead drunkenly, a glass of absinthe on the table in front of her. The man smokes a pipe and stares offstage. They sit next to each other but don\u2019t acknowledge each other. They are silent for several moments.) (Enter MARK […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[54],"class_list":["post-60","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sketches","tag-dave-stinton"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=60"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/60\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=60"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=60"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sketchwar.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=60"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}