Category: Sketches

Sketch Entries from the warriors

  • The Secret World of Dick

    If it was politically correct, I’m sure he would be all over this…

    [fountain]

    INT. SET OF THE SECRET WORLD OF DICK CHENEY

    MUSIC plays as DICK CHENEY, dressed in a technicolor CAPE and glitter bopper ANTENNA HEADBAND, sits on a chair in the center of a carnivalesque set replica of the oval office (crazy pinks and greens, oddly shaped furniture, polka dot wallpaper, etc).

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  • Cronenbergtonville

    [fountain]
    EXT. TREE-LINED STREET – DAY
    Bright, sunny, animated in a style that’s a cross between “Ren and Stimpy” and latter Hanna-Barbera. DAVEY lopes down the sidewalk, meeting NICKY pulling KIRILL around in a RADIO FLYER WAGON.

    DAVEY
    Hey guys. I see you got Nicky to pull you around, again.

    KIRILL
    He’s no driver. He is the undertaker!

    DAVEY
    What does that even mean?
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  • Medicine of the Future

    Hi all — here’s my take on the “State of Health Care” edition of Sketchwar.

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  • Stuck Between a Rock and a Bitch of Gurney

    Okay, I’ll admit it. This week’s topic is my fault. I don’t know. Blame it on my vast (negative) experiences with the medical establishment and years of having a chronic illness. For some reason, I now find pre-existing conditions, snarky nurses, biowaste, and medical uncertainty extremely funny. Either that, or at this point, its all so distressing to me that all I can do is laugh at the insanity of it. In any case, had a lot to write about this week, so without further ado…

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  • Clean Bill of Health

    Oy. Not loving this one too much. I started in a trauma center and dumped that. Then I moved on to the barber shop. Then I decided I was so in love with an idea I had to shoehorn it in the middle here…you’ll see what I mean. I think there are two good sketches that could be made from this mess, but I don’t have either of them.

    [fountain]
    INT. BARBER SHOP – DAY
    An old-school barber shop with three MIDDLEAGED ITALIAN MEN sporting slicked hair and white coats. The formica and linoleum sparkle. A small TV mounted above the mirrors plays a news program. The bell on the door rings and MICHAEL, obese and sloppy, trudges in eating a SnoBall. He plops in the seat in front of JOHNNY, the youngest and sleekest of the barbers.

    JOHNNY
    What can I do you for, Mikey?

    MICHAEL
    A little off the top. I’ve got a date with Maria Pasquino tonight and I want to look my best.

    JOHNNY
    You’ve got it, Mikey.

    Johnny takes a carefully folded sheet from the shelf under the mirror and with a wrist flip snaps it to full length before wrapping Michael with it. He then reaches for a long hose with a needle attachment.

    MICHAEL
    Not too close. I like to leave a little for the ladies to hold onto if you know what I mean.
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  • The Fightin’ Penguins

    Hi all — here’s my take on the “Interviews that Never Aired” edition of Sketchwar.

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  • God’s Worst Nightmare

    How many stupid questions does it take to incite the rapture?

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  • Cicero and Brutus

    Being a radio interview conducted on the floor of the Roman Forum, 15 March, 44 B.C.

    [fountain]
    Sounds of cheering and applause.

    CICERO
    Brutus! Brutus! Do you have a minute?
    (Beat)
    Brutus, that was a hell of a shot there. Was that something you’d drawn up, or did you just take the dagger and create?

    BRUTUS
    We’ve got a lot of set plays for situations like these, Cicero. What we were trying to run there was a play called Red Rubicon Right, but Caesar anticipated and defended against it so I had to improvise.
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  • The Line Between Mother and Other

    So, what becomes of the women for whom Mother’s Day serves no purpose…?

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  • Chocolate?

    I try to mix things up on holidays and do things that are surprising, but sometimes it’s hard not to fall into a rut. Here’s a sketch that illustrates what might happen if you allow yourself to become boring…
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