FADE IN: 

INT./EXT. JEREMY’S CAR/HIGHWAY – DAY

JEREMY (30s) drives a Nissan Sentra down the highway.

BRIAN (30s) sits in the passenger seat, fussing with a map.

JEREMY

If we get back to the 402, we could be in Atlanta by 5:30, and at Mom’s by 6:15.

BRIAN

So we might be late. No big deal.

JEREMY

I knew we should’ve brought a GPS.

BRIAN

I don’t need a GPS. I’ll figure out where we are.

Suddenly, the car FREEZES IN PLACE.

Jeremy and Brian look around, confused.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Yep, looks like them Clifton boys were having themselves an argument about technology.

The car UNFREEZES with a small jolt, and they’re sailing down the highway again.

Jeremy takes a second to regain control of the car.

JEREMY

What just happened?

BRIAN

Yeah, how did we not get thrown through the windshield. That’s pretty cool --

JEREMY

Who was that voice?

BRIAN

Sounded like that Dukes of Hazzard guy -- Waylon Jennings?

JEREMY

Isn’t he dead?

The car FREEZES again.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Turns out they were right confused by the occasional freeze frames and voiceovers.

The car UNFREEZES. Jeremy slows down.

JEREMY

This isn’t safe. We’ll pull over and wait it out.

BRIAN

Aw.

The car FREEZES.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

In that case, it turns out them Clifton boys had ordered themselves a whole mess of trouble. Lucky for them, that’s just what the Hazzard County P. D. was serving up!

The car UNFREEZES.

JEREMY

What?

Sounds of SIRENS.

Jeremy checks the rearview with alarm, starts to pull over.

JEREMY

I’m sorry, Redneck Jesus!

BRIAN

Oh, that’s just derogatory.

JEREMY

But we didn’t -- how can we be in trouble?

The car FREEZES.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Oh, them Clifton boys were always getting themselves into trouble -- runnin’ moonshine, jumpin’ their late-model Nissan Sentra over a hill, even goin’ after the same girl.

BRIAN

Nah, that wouldn’t happen, ‘cos I’m gay.

JEREMY

Don’t tell Waylon Jennings that!

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Sometimes, they just irritated people by sayin’ they’d “pull over and wait things out.”

The car UNFREEZES.

Jeremy hits the gas.

JEREMY

Okay. Okay, I’m speeding up. God, I hate this guy.

BRIAN

How can you hate Waylon Jennings?

JEREMY

The man claims I’m some kind of moonshine-running good ol’ boy!

BRIAN

Isn’t a home microbrew technically moonshine?

JEREMY

No, it’s -- that’s not the point! He’s got the cops after us, and I think he wants us to jump the car over something.

The car FREEZES.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Just once. That’s all I really want.

BRIAN

That exit looks hilly.

JEREMY

Brian --

BRIAN

He’s probably bored, Jeremy. Dukes of Hazzard hasn’t aired since, what, 1981?

The car UNFREEZES.

JEREMY

So?

BRIAN

Plus, I bet he could make the cops go away.

JEREMY

Fine.

Jeremy signals, pulls to the right, and guns the engine.

BRIAN

There’s the hill!

Suddenly, the car is airborne.

Jeremy screams.

BRIAN

Yee-haw!

He reaches over and hits the horn, which (of course) plays a bar of “Dixie”.

As the car lands, it FREEZES.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Thanks, boys. Have a nice trip.

The car UNFREEZES.

EXT. HIGHWAY – CONTINUOUS

The car drives away.

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

The cops changed their minds and left the Clifton boys alone.

BRIAN (O.S.)

Thanks, dude!

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

Later on, Jeremy finally bought them a GPS. Personally, I’d recommend a low-end Garmin.

JEREMY (O.S.)

Okay, fine!

WAYLON JENNINGS (V.O.)

And both of them had learned a little bit about life along the way.

JEREMY (O.S.)

Never driving that way again.

BRIAN (O.S.)

Shhh!

PAN TO a sign: “Now Leaving Hazzard County.”

FADE OUT.