Here’s my take on the “Westerns” edition of Sketchwar.
INT. STUDIO EXEC OFFICE – DAY
CANDACE (20s) and SAM (20s) sit across from an EXECUTIVE (50s, balding, ponytail) in an expensive-looking office with sci-fi movie posters on the walls.
CANDACE
And the movie we’re pitching you is called...
SAM
... The Lost Cowpoke!
CANDACE
Here’s the story --
Just as Sam picks up a printout and starts reading from it, the executive speaks up.
EXECUTIVE
Stop. Just stop. A Western? Really?
SAM
“The year is 1875 --”
EXECUTIVE
Westerns are out. Sci-fi is in.
CANDACE
Um -- exactly!
SAM
(sotto voce)
What?
CANDACE
(sotto voce)
Just read.
SAM
“The year is 1875 --”
CANDACE
... of the Galactic Empire!
Candace is clearly making all of this up.
SAM
... and sheriff Jenkins --
CANDACE
The sole legal enforcer of a mining colony on the sixth moon of Krelkon!
SAM
Is fighting off some bandits --
CANDACE
An invading force of sentient alien mindworms!
SAM
He chases them out of town --
CANDACE
And they flee through hyperspace!
SAM
But they abduct his wife --
CANDACE
In a statis pod, to take her back to their home planet!
SAM
So he rounds up his deputy --
CANDACE
The dreaded KillBot 3000!
SAM
They get on their horses --
CANDACE
That’s H-O-R-apostrophe-capital-S-E-S, a breed of sentient spaceships.
SAM
And even though they’re almost killed by Indians --
CANDACE
By a warrior race of sentient, genetically-modified spacefaring buffalo!
SAM
They, uh, get her back.
CANDACE
By peeling her out of the gooey stasis pod and ray-gun blasting their way out of the mindworm planet’s central command!
The executive pulls out a cell phone, presses a few buttons, sets it on the table. After a moment, the BIG BOSS answers.
BIG BOSS (V.O.)
What is it?
EXECUTIVE
Boss, I’ve got a promising sci-fi property for you --
BIG BOSS (V.O.)
Dammit, sci-fi is out. It’s crested. Romantic comedies are in.
CANDACE
Uh -- did I mention the Killbot 3000 is sassy and gay?
BIG BOSS (V.O.)
Hmm. Let’s talk.
The executive picks up the phone and talks with his boss. Meanwhile --
CANDACE
(sotto voce)
You think this is how Firefly got made?
Sam shrugs.
FADE OUT.