Just Like on that Website…You Know?


I have been mulling this one over in my head since my buddy Stephen Mark Rainey visited – he’s big into Geo Caching. Mark…this one’s for you…  I wanted to choose a social network that was unlikely to cross-over with the others on the site…and I’ve always had a soft spot for the sort of humor brought to the world by Cheech and Chong…this one is ALSO for you man…Dave many not be THERE…but he’s here, right?

JUST LIKE ON THAT WEBSITE … YOU KNOW?

INT. APARTMENT – AFTERNOON

TEETER, mid twenties with long, scraggly hair and wire rimmed glasses enters the room. CHANCE, early twenties, dark hair, long but well groomed, sits on a low-slung leather couch. He’s tapping away at the keyboard on a beat-up looking laptop. There are band stickers on the case.

CHANCE

Where you been man? I was about to go crazy here.

TEETER stands, swaying side to side like a metronome (thus the name). He’s grinning from ear to ear.

CHANCE (CONT’D)

What?

TEETER

Remember last night, man?

CHANCE

What about last night?

TEETER

That site you found, you know dude, on the net?

CHANCE

(frustrated) We found about a thousand sites on the net dillweed. Which site? And sit down. That swaying crap makes me nervous.

TEETER almost hops across the room and plops on the couch, obviously excited about something.

TEETER

That web page where the dudes were hiding stuff out in the woods, man. The Neo something…

CHANCE

Geo Caching? You mean the Geo Caching site? What about it? Dude you are SO not right.

TEETER

I did it man.

CHANCE

Did what?

TEETER

(giggles)

CHANCE

What the hell did you do, you moron? You sound like that dog on Scooby Doo’s Laffalympics …

TEETER

Muttley…

CHANCE

Yes freaking Muttley what did you DO?

TEETER

Stashed.

CHANCE

Stashed? Stashed what?

TEETER

I GEO stashed man. The stuff. You said to make sure I put it in a safe place, so I stashed it.

CHANCE

What in the hell are you talking about? On that web site they were Geo “caching” – no stash.

TEETER

I know. Cool, huh? I’m the first. Might have to get my own web site. I went out in the woods, man. Back to nature, you know? Weird, huh? I took the stuff with me.

CHANCE

You hid the stash in the woods? Are you mental?

TEETER

Nothing to worry about man. I read all about it on that site. I got it covered

(points to his temple)

CHANCE

With tinfoil? Is that it? Did aliens tell you – ‘don’t take the pot back where you and Chance can get to it…hide it in the woods. Maybe the squirrels want a hit.’

TEETER

Squirrels can’t hold a pipe. (leans closer) Got no THUMBS.

CHANCE sits back and covers his face with his hands.

CHANCE

Tell me very slowly…where did you hide the pot man?

TEETER

I was careful. I did just like we saw on the website. I used my GPS and marked the exact coordinates. I hid it real good.

CHANCE

Your ‘GPS?’

TEETER Holds up his watch.

TEETER

(holds up his watch) It’s Geo Stash Talk – lingo – you know? That’s what they call these. I saw a guy using it. I hid the stash at exactly 12:00.

CHANCE

(incredulous) You don’t have a GPS you idiot. That’s your watch. You hid our pot at 12:00?

TEETER

Yep (looking very pleased).

CHANCE

What does your “GPS” say now Teeter?

TEETER glances at his watch, frowns as if it’s out of focus. Then he looks up.

TEETER

8:00

CHANCE

So, let me see. We can’t find the stash for another four hours…or did you hide it at midnight?

TEETER

(confused) Why would I be in the woods at midnight.

CHANCE rises very slowly and deliberately and turns. He’s pissed.

CHANCE

I don’t know … let me see. Running?

TEETER

Running? In the woods? At midnight? But…

CHANCE

Look at it this way. If you and your GPS find the stash before then, maybe you can stop running.

CHANCE dives full length at Tetter, who by luck or fate has started swaying back and forth. Chance misses…barely, and finally catching on, Teeter is up.

TEETER

Dude…chill out.

TEETER turns and runs toward the door.

TEETER (CONT’D)

It’s only 8:15…

CHANCE screams as he lunges out of the apartment. The door hangs open behind them, flapping in the breeze.

(O.S.) We hear Teeter giggling like Muttley.

FADE OUT.