We continue to move across the land, sweeping aside our enemies and bringing new blood into our fold. Here’s a sketch from the very latest Warrior to join our ranks, Jennifer Best.
Join me in welcoming this brave battler into the ring.
If we don’t scare Jennifer off – I’m looking at you, Brownlee! – she will hopefully become a permanent member of our ranks.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY
JESSE (28) is at the computer, obviously excited about something he’s viewing on Facebook.
JESSE
I don’t friggen’ believe it!
The others in the room, CARLY (26) and ERIC (26), are sitting on the sofa watching The Simpsons and not paying attention to Jesse’s excited outburst.
JESSE (CONT’D)
Unreal! Look at her! She’s gorgeous! If I had that in my bed every night, I’d never work again!
Still no reaction from the other two.
JESSE (CONT’D)
She wants me. Look at that. I knew she’d leave that doofus husband of hers. Her relationship status changed to “single”!
Carly walks over to the computer to see what the big fuss is about and is not hugely impressed.
JESSE (CONT’D)
Hey, Carly. Do you know her?
CARLY
I don’t think so, man. Check out my profile and see if we have any friends in common.
Carly returns to the couch, uninterested by it all.
JESSE
Holy shit! You have, like, six friends in common with her!
(pause)
She just sent me a message asking “What’s new with you?” – she’s so into me.
CARLY
Dude. She’s asking what’s new with you, not if you want to bone her. Give the woman a week to get over her failed marriage, jesus.
Jesse gets up and goes to the bathroom, still going on and on about the blond whose picture is still open on the computer.
Carly and Eric look at each other and laugh.
ERIC
He’s awful.
CARLY
What would he do without Facebook to help him?
ERIC
I don’t even wanna know.
Jesse returns with a bounce in his step and checks his messages again.
JESSE
She asked me if I know anyone with a pick up truck to help her move! I have a pick up truck! Well, my uncle does but still. Could be mine for all she knows. I’m so in!
CARLY
Facebook saves the day again.
BLACKOUT: