Last week got a little crazy in my world, and I missed out on the social networking fun. Who knows though…maybe I’ll post my “Operation Superpoke” sketch later on.
But this week we’re on to game shows, and David has already dipped into the political arena…great minds obviously like playing in the same pool 🙂
Pay to Play!!!
INT. GAME SHOW SET – NIGHT
Chase lights twinkle, glitter sparkles, and follow spots zoom around as the announcer begins:
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
From Washington D.C. To Springfield Illinois, it’s the game that’s making the headlines and winning your hearts...
An unseen STUDIO AUDIENCE shouts out the title in unison...
AUDIENCE
PAY....TO....PLAY!!!!
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
It’s time to “Pay to Play”! And now, here’s the host of Pay to Play, the man who put the Pomp back in pompadour....Rrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooodddddddd Blagojevich!
The lights come up full and ROD comes running out, hair not moving an inch. Wild applause from the audience.
ROD
Hello America! Welcome back to “Pay to Play”, the game that’s been sweeping the halls of power since the beginning of civilization! Let’s welcome back our returning champion. Don, remind everyone how he’s done so far.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Well Rod, he was appointed the junior senator for the great state of Illinois, been seated in the U.S. Congress, and so far he’s completely indictment free. Please welcome back Roland Burris!
ROLAND BURRIS walks out waving to the cheering crowd and takes his place behind a shiny podium.
ROD
Good to have you back Roland.
ROLAND
Thank you Rod. Good to be back.
Forced laughter from the audience
ROD
You’ve won some great prizes so far Roland, and you’ve got a lot of fans out there because of your honest straight-shooting style. Ready to play our big money bonus round.
Roland nods
ROD
Don, what’s our big money bonus category this week?
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Our category this week is......martyrs.
ROD
Martyrs...serious stuff Roland. You want to risk everything on the big money bonus question, or do you want to pass?
ROLAND
I’m going to risk it Rod.
ROD
He’s going to risk it!!!
Wild applause from the audience. Rod pulls a card out of his jacket.
ROD (CONT)
Roland, to win our big prize package, or lose it all, please give us the next name in this sequence: Jesus Christ...Mahatma Ghandi...Martin Luther King Jr...
The musical clock starts ticking and tension takes over Roland’s face as he mentally searches for the answer. Excitement explodes through his body and he hits the buzzer on his podium and the sounder sounds.
ROLAND
(shouting)
Rod Blagojevich!
ROD
(excited)
That’s right!
Massive applause
ROD
Congratulations! Don, tell Roland what he’s won.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
Roland has won this fabulous home theatre package, including a sixty-seven inch high definition LCD TV, THX quality surround sound system,100 disc carousel Blue-ray DVD player, and one-hundred-thousand dollars in cash – all provided by the American Tobacco Lobby. Tobacco – America was founded on it, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!
ROD
Nice package, huh Roland?
ROLAND
I’m really going to enjoy that Rod.
ROD
Now...you can keep that prize package, or you can trade it for the non-descript shoebox the lovely Pippi Stickman is holding.
PIPPI, a gameshow model, walks out in a tight low cut gown holding a shoe box wrapped in plain brown paper.
ROLAND
Ha! Must be something pretty valuable in that box Rod.
Everyone laughs
ROLAND
Can you give me a hint what might be in that?
ROD
Well Roland, it might be about two hours of recorded phone calls between you and I when I was still governor....two very specials hours that the FBI doesn’t have yet...
ROLAND
The box!!! Dear God!!! I’ll take the box!!!
Pippi brings the box over. Roland grabs it rips it open, and pulls out a jar of Orville Redenbacher popcorn. A “wah-wah-wah” loser sounder plays.
ROD
Awwwwww.Guess those recordings are backstage just waiting to be won huh? Ha ha! Well Roland, even though you didn’t get what you wanted, you were a big bonus winner and that means we have to tell you good bye, but you’ve been a great player and we’re going to miss you.
Rod walks over and embraces Roland. Roland discreetly pushes a large stack of cash into Rod’s jacket pocket as they embrace.
ROD
You know what folks – let’s forget the rules! We like to keep things fast and loose around here, and Roland just convinced me to let him should stick around for one more round! How does that sound?
The audience cheers, Roland wipes sweat from his forehead and sighs.
ROD
And after this commercial break we’ll meet Roland’s new challenger on...
AUDIENCE
PAY....TO....PLAY!!!!
Games show music plays as Rod pats his jacket and chats with Roland
FADE TO BLACK.