The Adventures of Professor Grebitus


INT. INVENTOR’S LAB – DAY

PROFESSOR GREBITUS and his assistant, MERL, stand among the various whirling contraptions and bubbling beakers. Professor Grebitus holds in his hands a small, golden device that looks a lot like a pocket watch.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Behold, Merl, my greatest invention! I hold in my hand, the power to control time itself. And thanks to my genius, it’s so simple a child could operate it.

MERL

That sounds swell, Hank.

Professor Grebitus smacks Merl up the side of his head.

MERL

Owww.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Hank when we’re in the lab?

MERL

I’m telling mom.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Just stand there quietly and don’t touch anything.

The Professor sets the device down and turns to his tools. Merl watches him for a second then gently reaches over and picks up the device. He fiddles with the dials. He grins. The Professor is bent over looking for something. He pushes a button and disappears for a split second then reappears.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Just think, Merl, the gift I am giving to mankind with this device. I can prevent wars. Stop assassinations. Speed up the cures for diseases. Where would civilization be today if Jesus had an iPhone? If Henry Ford had solar powered –

He suddenly stands up. He spins around. He snatches the device out of Merl’s hands.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

This is not a toy!

Merl is giggling.

MERL

What’s the matter Professor? Got a wedgie?

Professor Grebitus picks his wedgie.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

You can’t just go time hopping willy-nilly. I haven’t done enough calculations to know what effects it might have on the space time contin...

Professor Grebitus stares at Merl who is has pulled a large, oddly colored egg out of his pocket.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Where did you get that?

MERL

What?

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

That egg you’re holding.

MERL

Found it.

The egg begins to hatch. Merl sets it down on the table. The egg cracks open and a tiny, dinosaur pops its head through the shell.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Merl. Where else did you travel?

MERL

Nowhere.

WOMAN’S VOICE (O.S.)

Merl, honey, we’re going to be late.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

That doesn’t sound like mom.

Kate Winslet comes down the stairs dressed in an elegant evening gown. Professor Grebitus’ jaw drops open.

KATE

Merl, you aren’t even dressed yet. Are you going to accept your Nobel Prize dressed like that?

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Nobel...Merl, what’s going on?

KATE

Hi Hank. Look, the toilet’s backed up again. I thought you said you fixed it the last time.

Merl grins at Professor Grebitus.

MERL

I should probably go now.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

I can undo this all, you know.

He holds up his device, starts to turn a dial and stops. He looks closely at it.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

Lego?

Kate pulls the device from her clutch.

KATE

Oh, and I found this in the freezer again. I swear, you’d lose your head if it wasn’t attached.

Kate exits back up the stairs. Professor Grebitus is stunned. Merl heads to the stairs and stops.

MERL

If it’s any consolation, it is a swell invention Hank.

Merl hops up the stairs.

PROFESSOR GREBITUS

NOOO!!!!

To Be Conitnued...?