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Las Vegas Itasca
(An architectural planning meeting in Vegas. WENTWORTH, BRAD, and GEORGE stand around a table. On the wall is a placard: Wentworth Casinos, Las Vegas, NV. Out the window is a view of the Strip.) WENTWORTHWho’s next? BRADWe’ve got Kirk Luberda. Bright young architecture student from the Midwest. GEORGE (skeptically)Ah. What do you think he’ll try…
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FSW: Silence is Golden Edition
Happy Friday to us, every one!Here’s the news that’s fit to print. Richard is dressed as Rachel Ray. Dave is building the casino of his dreams in Vegas. There’s no word, yet, from Red.So I’ve been trying to work on brevity. My last couple of sketches have felt a little long. I’ve also been experimenting…
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FSW: Rachel Ray, $40 a Day
For the whiny little bitches – you know who you are – who are going to read this and say “you’ve never been with a real woman…you wouldn’t know what to do…curves…hawt…” whatever. Rachel Ray’s genetics are showing through. She’s going to be a fat old Italian woman someday. Facts are facts. So what? I’m…
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Friday Night Sketch War: Round Eleven
This week was a light one. Three scouts met while surveying a potential battlefield and got into a fight with non-lethal ordinance. Coyote threw wiffle balls at the others… Michael blew spitballs… Red sprayed foam… This week we’ve got Pyrotechnic Parties, Camping Trips, and Tortured Artistes. And if you get a chance, stop by David’s…
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FSW: Great Outdoors Edition
Another week come and gone. I would have had this up sooner, but I’ve been hiding under my desk in case another aftershock rolls through here. Earthquakes are only supposed to happen in Third World Countries and California. Not the Midwest.Anyhow, Richard came out, guns a-blazing, with a funny party planning idea.No word from Dave…
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FSW: Party Planners
Allow me to preface this sketch with a preemptive “meh”. High concept, but it really goes nowhere. Not without a multi-million dollar budget to make it all happen, at least. Hmm… Party Planners(A large number of people fill a cavernous hall, dressed formally. The lights go down, and crossing, moving spots cut through the darkness.…
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Toodle-oo, Tuvalu
(An expanse of water, extending all the way to the horizon. Eventually, a ROWBOAT appears and drifts to center stage. DONALD, 50, is rowing. His son JASON, 18, is engrossed in a handheld holographic videogame. It is 2050.) DONALD (looking around)My gosh, this brings me back.(turns upstage, looks into the distance)Wow.(he looks to JASON)When I…
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Friday Night Sketch War: Round Ten
Oh, the humanity! Three score and three days ago Michael and I brought forth on this internet a new challenge, conceived in Comedy, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created funny. Now we are engaged in a great comic war, testing whether that challenge, or any challenge, so conceived and so dedicated,…
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FSW: Fantasy Dream Edition
It’s time for another round of Friday Sketch War.Richard was first out of the gate today, with a cautionary tale about television doctors.Nothing from Dave yet, but if it’s anything like last week, he’ll toss something out that will blow us all away. Update: Dave is up and, er, swimming. And we have a new…
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FSW: Five for Health: Homemade Drugs
This one’s a bit different. Most of you reading this should (hopefully) note a passing similarity to a certain television doctor and insane performer. This sketch had originally been intended as part of a C-story for a spec, but I’ve never been happy with my plans for the A-story and have put that spec on…