(An architectural planning meeting in Vegas. WENTWORTH, BRAD, and GEORGE stand around a table. On the wall is a placard: Wentworth Casinos, Las Vegas, NV. Out the window is a view of the Strip.)

WENTWORTH
Who’s next?

BRAD
We’ve got Kirk Luberda. Bright young architecture student from the Midwest.

GEORGE (skeptically)
Ah. What do you think he’ll try to foist on us? Mies van der Rohe? Frank Lloyd Wright?

BRAD
I don’t know. I think it’s about time for a Chicago-themed hotel/casino. That would be a draw. People could stay in the miniature Sears Tower. You could make a restaurant in the shape of Wrigley Field.

GEORGE
Call it “Ivy’s”! Serve deep-dish pizza! Italian beef!

BRAD
And that big Picasso! He could be our spokesman! Like a robot-gangster-Picasso in a fedora that would stand at the door and welcome visitors!

GEORGE
And we could sell miniature brass reproductions of the Space Needle!

BRAD
That’s in Seattle.

WENTWORTH
Guys, guys. This is not our job. Let’s see what Mr. Luberda has to offer before we overthink this thing to death.

BRAD
Mr. Luberda? Come in please.

(LUBERDA enters, carrying a portfolio and a tarp-covered object, which he sets on the table.)

LUBERDA
Good afternoon, gentlemen.

WENTWORTH
Mr. Luberda. The theming of a casino is vitally important. It must be new and innovative, but classic in its execution. How well a theme taps into the zeitgeist can determine whether a casino lasts a mere year, or sticks around for a full three years.

BRAD
The point is, when the building is imploded, can we look back and say, that was a gimmick we’re proud of? Or will it be another “Bridget Jones’s Pai Gow Palace”?

(WENTWORTH, BRAD and GEORGE shudder.)

LUBERDA
I think you’ll be tickled with what I’ve come up with. As you can imagine, there’s a soft spot in my heart for the Midwest.

BRAD
I knew it!

GEORGE
Will you have a Space Needle?

WENTWORTH
Gentlemen, please. Go on.

LUBERDA
Well. Maybe it’s best for me to just show you.
(He lifts the tarp, revealing a miniature suburban town.)
I give you: Las Vegas Itasca!

(pause)

GEORGE
What does “Itasca” mean?

LUBERDA
It’s my hometown. It’s a suburb of Chicago. That’s in Illinois.

(They all look over the model.)

BRAD
What’s this structure here?

LUBERDA
It’s the gazebo.
(Pause. The other THREE look blankly back at him.)
In Usher Park!

WENTWORTH
Will people know what that is?

LUBERDA
They’ll know it’s where they cash in their chips. Beautiful, functional, and full of swans, just like the real Usher Park.

BRAD
(points to a tiny human figure on the model)
This woman here on the stage. She looks like Bonnie Raitt.

LUBERDA
She is. A professional Bonnie Raitt impersonator will perform nightly.

BRAD
Why is she wearing handcuffs?

LUBERDA
Do you guys not read the news? She was arrested in Itasca in 2001 for protesting Boise Cascade’s deforestation practices.

WENTWORTH
I don’t know, Mr. Luberda. This all seems kind of esoteric.

LUBERDA
Is candy too esoteric for you?

(LUBERDA presses a button and the roof of the miniature Bethany United Methodist Church opens, shooting out colorful boxes of Nerds, Gobstoppers, and Lik-M-Aid.)

GEORGE
(gasping delightedly)
An assortment of Willy Wonka products!

LUBERDA
Their factory is located in Itasca, on Norwood Avenue.

GEORGE
Oh! Are all the cocktail waitresses dressed as Oompa-Loompas?

LUBERDA
You tell me.

(LUBERDA pulls a sketch out of his portfolio featuring an orange-skinned, green-haired cocktail waitress in short white overalls. She holds a tray with a complex, striped drinking vessel with an elaborate bendy-straw sticking out of it.)

WENTWORTH, BRAD, and GEORGE
Ooooh!

LUBERDA
And…

(LUBERDA turns the page to another drawing: a man wearing huge glasses and a beige windbreaker sits glumly at a blackjack table.)

BRAD
Is that John Cusack, as he appears in the movie Grace is Gone?

LUBERDA
(nodding)
…which filmed in Itasca.

GEORGE
That’s the one where his wife dies in Iraq!

LUBERDA
And all the dealers will be dressed like him.

WENTWORTH
I’ll tell you what, Mr. Luberda. I’m starting to take a shine to this idea. You’ve got the contract.

(They shake hands.)

LUBERDA
Thank you sir!

WENTWORTH
Thank you. Let’s break ground immediately and start building Las Vegas Itasca. And we’ll see how long it lasts before we have to raze it.

(A miniature rumbling. Tiny flashes of light appear along the bottom of the model. It descends into tiny puffs of smoke and dust, and it is gone.)

(LUBERDA shrugs comically. WENTWORTH, BRAD, and GEORGE laugh and point. Freeze-frame. Closing credits.)