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Christmas Presents Skirmish: The Aftermath of the Magi
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE – DAY JIM YOUNG, in his 20s with sharply creased pants, shiny from too much wear, stands at the RETURNS COUNTER opposite MIRIAM, efficient and professional. MIRIAM What a lovely story, Mr. Young! So do you want to exchange the chain for a nice hat, or maybe a wig? JIM Actually, I…
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Jared at 3:34AM
INT. JARED’S APARTMENT, BEDROOM – NIGHT TITLE: MONDAY JARED sleeps alone. Young and nebbishy, at least what we can see poking from under the covers. An old-school FLIP CLOCK reads 3:33AM. It flips… …and three car alarms go off simultaneously. Jared pops up, reaches for the alarm clock, realizes the noise is outside. He lies…
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Friday Night Sketch War: First Dates Edition
W00t! Welcome to the new home for Sketch War. In our first battle in the new stadium, three warriors gave their all. Ninjas, knives, guns, God’s wrath, lightning, and truthiness. Two talky-talky sketches against one without a word. R.A. took the topic VERY literally and gave us the FIRST date… Peter gave us 13 first…
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The First Date
EXT. GARDEN – DAY Lush, jungle-like. Three tree stumps conveniently positioned as table and chairs. ADAM, grinning like a rube, and LILITH sit naked across from each other, hair and branches strategically concealing naughty bits. The brunette smolders and looks slinky even while seated. ADAM …and I call those goats. LILITH They stink. ADAM Yeah,…
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Friday Night Sketch War: Learning Something New About History Edition
Another tough topic, though not nearly as painful, or likely to make a grown man cry and jump on a couch, as Oprah. Again, we had three warriors enter the fray. They acquitted themselves well. Coyote pulled back the curtain on the massive conspiracy that controls the world… Ken told a heartwarming tale of gold,…
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FSW: The Truth About Harry
Quick point of order: Peter is a bastard for coming up with this week’s theme, Learning something new about history. May a thousand beetles crawl into his closet and take up residence in his favorite sneaker. The left one, not the right one. Come back on Saturday for the recap, where I give you links…
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Friday Night Sketch War: Oprah Edition
Yours truly – like many before him – fell under the spell of one Ms. Oprah Gail Winfrey’s hypnotic powers. I thought to myself did I, “oh, Oprah would make a great theme for Sketch War. So many topics. So many sketch ideas. This will be great!” She’s ephemeral. Like a ghost, or Duke Nukem…
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FSW: Oprah’s Favorite Things
Holy crap. I swear, when I thought of Oprah last week, I had visions of sketches writing themselves. So many ideas filled my head: Oprah as a cruel taskmaster; Oprah as an international spy; Oprah giving hitmen assignments with envelopes under their seats. Those ideas? They don’t work. Nothing worked. I was going to do…
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Friday Night Sketch War: Horrible Holidays Edition
The battle continues apace; tonight we’re joined by a new warrior. Fresh-faced and unscathed from previous battles, will Peter Rogers kill or cower, fight or flee? This week’s theme is brought to us by one of our legion of fans: horrible family holidays. Coyote – just like Han damn it! – shot first, with flaming…
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FSW: Chinatown Christmas
Blogging buddy @tjonsek suggested this week’s theme in comments: horrible family holidays. I didn’t have to reach too deep into my bag of painful, poorly suppressed memories to pull this sketch out. Still rubs me raw. You know of course that comedy often requires painting in broad strokes and exaggerating. Comedy in real life is…