EXT. GARDEN – DAY
Lush, jungle-like. Three tree stumps conveniently positioned as table and chairs. ADAM, grinning like a rube, and LILITH sit naked across from each other, hair and branches strategically concealing naughty bits. The brunette smolders and looks slinky even while seated.
ADAM
…and I call those goats.
LILITH
They stink.
ADAM
Yeah, I hadn’t noticed. The bigger ones, with the long hair, I call those yaks. Except those other ones over there? Those are gnus.
Lilith glances where Adam points, then looks around anxiously.
LILITH
Where the hell’s the waiter?
ADAM
Waiter?
LILITH
Or waitress, whatever. To take our order? I’d kill for a drink.
ADAM
Oh, let me get you some pomegranate juice. I named that, too. And the strawberry, and the boysenberry…
Adam’s voice trails off as he exits, still strategically obscured. Lilith sighs. As Adam comes back in view we hear him continue…
ADAM (CONT’D)
…and the huckleberry, and the chokeberry, and the–
LILITH
–You named all the berries, too. That’s great. So Adam, what else do you do? Besides naming.
Adam hands Lilith a hollowed gourd and she drains it. She curls her lip and stares at the cup.
ADAM
I tend the fields and I tend the flocks and I–
LILITH
–Yeah. Hey sweetie? You got anything back there with a bit more kick?
ADAM
Kick?
LILITH
You know, something fermented?
ADAM
Nope. Just juice. You want some lingonberry juice?
LILITH
(sighing)
No, I’m fine. Maybe something to eat?
ADAM
We’ve got barley porridge. I can top it with blueberries if you like. Or blackberries–
A lamb, barely old enough to walk, stumbles up to the table.
LILITH
–What’s that?
ADAM
That’s a lamb. It’s a baby sheep. I also named sheep.
LILITH
That sounds good.
ADAM
The name pleases you?
LILITH
No, a lamb chop sounds good. Rare.
ADAM
You want me to make a sacrifice for God?
LILITH
No, I want you to make mint jelly for me.
ADAM
I don’t know how I feel–
LILITH
–Look, Adam. You’re a nice guy. Really. But you’re obviously busy with the…naming and the tending. I’m just not sure I feel a real connection.
ADAM
What about my rib?
LILITH
What about it?
ADAM
“And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” That’s me. I’m the man. You’re bone of my bones and everything.
LILITH
(sotto voce)
That’s the only bone around here from what I can see.
ADAM
What?
LILITH
Look, I appreciate all that, but it’s not enough. There’s just no spark. I’d love it if we could be friends, though.
Adam looks heavenward and shrugs. Lightning flashes, thunder claps, and when he looks back down he’s sitting across from EVE: blond, fair, and grinning like her mate.
EVE
(vapidly)
What do you call that animal, Adam?
BLACKOUT: