Hi all — here’s my take on the “Radio Drama” edition of Sketchwar.
Side note: I’m always a little iffy on how to format audiodrama. I like to use a bastardized screenplay format that’s mostly dialog, SFX (for sound effects), and MUSIC (for music cues). Hopefully it reads okay.
(Additional side note: this idea originated here.)
FADE IN:
MUSIC: Introductory music.
NARRATOR
And now, the further adventures of everyone’s favorite globe-trotting performance artists! It’s time for “Raoul and Dave Confuse the World!”
MUSIC: Ominous music.
NARRATOR
Last week, in the final moments of their Azyrian mission, Raoul and Dave were captured by the beautiful-but-deadly Lieutenant Razzen.
RAZZEN speaks precise but faintly accented English. A femme fatale type.
RAZZEN
So. Raoul and Dave. At last, I see the terrorists face-to-face.
DAVE
We’re not terrorists.
RAOUL
Unless we’re terrorists of the mind! Blowing up your complacency! With art!
DAVE
Raoul, seriously: stop. Lietenant, we’re not a threat.
RAZZEN
You were responsible for the balloon animals in Mogadishu, yes?
RAOUL
Maybe.
RAZZEN
... and the fake Northern Lights in Venezuela?
RAOUL
That was pretty cool.
DAVE
But it never hurt anybody!
RAZZEN
It was very silly!
RAOUL
Thanks!
RAZZEN
Our regime does not abide silliness. Whatever you were plotting here, the Great Leader would not approve.
SFX: A switchblade clicks open.
RAOUL
Ahhh that’s a knife!
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, Dave employs his stage-magic skills to slip out of his ropes and deploy a smoke grenade!
SFX: FOOM!
Everyone coughs.
RAOUL
Quick, untie me!
RAZZEN
You’ll never get away with this!
SFX: Alarms sound.
SFX: Racing footsteps echo down a hallway.
NARRATOR
Our heroes escape from the complex, with one short side trip.
DAVE
Wait!
RAOUL
But -- knife lady!
DAVE
That room has our stuff.
SFX: A door opens.
DAVE
There’s the activator! Just hit the red button.
SFX: Beep!
RAOUL
I did it! So... we won?
GUARD
(muffled)
I think they went this way!
DAVE
We gotta get out of here first.
NARRATOR
Meanwhile, across Azyria, the machines that Dave and Raoul carefully set in place each receives the signal and turned themselves on.
SFX: Street noise and chatter.
SON
So the sky isn’t really blue?
SFX: A loud click and a whirr.
DAD
Son, it’s actually something called Rayleigh scattering, and --
SFX: POP!
SON
What’s that?
SFX: POP! POP!
DAD
What’s what?
SFX: Millions of pops!
SFX: The background chatter turns into ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’.
SON
Bubbles! Lots of bubbles!
DAD
Wow.
SFX: General laughter and merriment
NARRATOR
And so, as Azyria’s cities are filled will millions of iridescent soap bubbles, our heroes emerge from one of the compound’s escape tunnels, only to find...
SFX: Heavy door creaks open.
SFX: Helicopter rotors.
RAOUL
A helicopter?
HELICOPTER MAN
Get in!
SFX: Raoul and Dave clamber into the helicopter.
SFX: The helicopter door shuts.
SFX: The rotors speed up as the ‘copter takes off.
RAOUL
Wait. You guys aren’t from the USPAA.
HELICOPTER MAN
Nope.
DAVE
Azyrians?
HELICOPTER MAN
Ha, no.
RAOUL
Who are you?
An old ITALIAN MAN clears his throat.
ITALIAN MAN
We’re with the Pope.
MUSIC: Dramatic chords!
MUSIC: Closing music.
NARRATOR
Will our heroes escape the clutches of the Azyrian forces? Will aiborne soap bubbles blow Azyria’s collective mind? And what shadowy purpose does the Vatican have planned for Raoul and Dave?
MUSIC: Closing music gets louder.
NARRATOR
Find out in the next installment of “Raoul and Dave Confuse the World!”
FADE OUT: