Thought I’d chime in – almost never seem to have time …
INT. – DOCTOR’S OFFICE – DAY
We see DR. BEN SKINNER, 40s, thin with a dark tan leaning back in a leather chair. Across the desk from him, CORA APPLEGATE, 30s, very large nose, shuffles through a pile of photographs. She scans each carefully, then discards it and moves on. Finally she grips one very tightly and glances up.
CORA
This is it! This is the one.
DR. SKINNER
You’re sure? Despite the antics of the late Mr. Jackson, this isn’t something you can revisit endlessly.
Cora holds the picture up beside her face and holds a mirror up to show her the reflection. She stares into the mirror, and then nods. Reflected in the mirror is a picture of a woman’s face beside hers. The woman’s nose is decidely smaller.
DR. SKINNER (CONT’D)
We can, of course, write this off as work on your sinuses. With your record...
CORA
My insurance would pay?
DR. SKINNER
That depends.
CORA
On what?
Dr. Skinner turns away for a moment so she can’t see his expression.
DR. SKINNER
There are...complications. The new health care, you understand?
CORA
But...I kept my health care. I’m not on the public plan.
DR. SKINNER
Still...see Jennifer in reception. She’ll take you where you need to go. I’m sure we’ll be beyond the unpleasantness shortly and on to a more beautiful you...
Cora rises and exits the room. Dr. Skinner sits and watches her.
CORA
Thank you, Doctor.
DR. SKINNER
Call me Ben.
Cora exits the room.
CUT TO:
INT. RECEPTION – DAY
Cora stands nervously in front of a desk. Behind it JENNIFER, 20s, two-tone hair and too much gum, scans data on a computer monitor.
CORA
Dr. Skinner said that I should see you ... that you’d show me where I needed to go.
Jennifer looks up and gives Cora a once over, then pops her gum and rises.
JENNIFER
Follow me.
Jennifer leads Cora down a hallway. She opens a door and holds it for Cora, who enters.
JENNIFER (CONT’D)
The Doctor will be with you shortly.
FADE TO:
INT. WHITE ROOM – DAY
Cora enters a room and glances around. There are three other women present, GWEN, 40s, extremely obese, Patty, 30s, thin and very small breasted, and AGNES, 50s, wrinkled and frowning. A bright light flashes on, and a speaker hums.
DR. SKINNER (O.S.)
Welcome ladies. Please, line up against the back wall. You’ll find numbers on the table. Each of you must choose one. It makes no difference which you choose, it’s for identification and anonymity.
The women glance around, trying to find the source of the voice. Slowly, when they get no answer, they pick up the numbers and move to the wall, watching one another cattily.
DR. SKINNER (O.S) (CONT’D)
Very good ladies. Very good. Just a formality, I assure you. Shall we begin?
A screen drops from the ceiling across from the women. On the screen, a group of five men, sitting on stools, stares back at them.
DR. SKINNER (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Take your time gentlemen. When you are finished, please cast your votes.
CORA
Votes?
DR. SKINNER (O.S.)
Well, yes, of course. It’s for your insurance. There are choices that have to be made.
The first man on the panel holds up a number 3. Cora is holding #2, Agnes #1, Patty #3 and Gwen #4. The second man also holds up a #3. Cora, Gwen, and Agnes glare at Patty, who blushes.
CORA
What kind of sick game is this? You ask five men whether they’d rather see smaller noses than larger breasts?
DR. SKINNER
I’m afraid we’re rationing our services these days. The President’s policy clearly states that only the most needy will be served until all of the most needy have BEEN served. I’m sure you understand.
CORA
Are you crazy? She NEEDS bigger breasts? I don’t NEED a smaller nose, I just want it.
The third man holds up a #3 and Agnes, the older woman, screeches and dives for the screen.
DR. SKINNER (O.S.)
Thank you ladies. It appears that our panel of experts agree. You don’t need the nose, but...
Agnes, Gwen, and Cora turn on Patty, claws raised.
DR. SKINNER (O.S.) (CONT’D)
Oh crap...
The screen goes blank and we close on it. There is the sound of running feet in the hall. Closer, we hear screeches of anger and pain as the four ladies work on their political philosophy mano a mano. The screen goes to a screen-saving image. It’s an insurance logo in the familiar Barack Obama colors...