Here’s my take on the “Bad Day at the Office” edition of Sketchwar.
INT. OFFICE – DAY
CLOSE ON MR. KARAKIS (dumpy, middle-aged) who stands in the typical drab office: fluorescents, gray color scheme, cheesy motivational poster.
KARAKIS
-- the training session is in Des Moines, and there are a few clients to meet out there, so you’re both going on a business trip!
REVEAL who Mr. Robinson’s talking to: MR. LIGHTCASTLE and MR. WORTHINGTON, two Victorian-era English dandies in their twenties.
They sit at a desk.
Mr. Lightcastle files his nails. Mr. Worthington studies his face from various angles in a mirror.
A small handheld bell sits on the desk.
LIGHTCASTLE
Will there be fox hunting?
KARAKIS
Foxes? Like the animals?
LIGHTCASTLE
’tis the season, after all.
WORTHINGTON
Absolutely the season! Late November, of course.
KARAKIS
You can’t kill foxes in Des Moines.
LIGHTCASTLE
Bah! Then we refuse! We shan’t go!
WORTHINGTON
We absolutely shan’t, of course.
KARAKIS
Okay. We can get you up to speed on the training material over lunch. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the Olive Garden and --
LIGHTCASTLE
We shall be dining at the club.
WORTHINGTON
The club, of course.
LIGHTCASTLE
Which reminds me, are you peckish, Mr. Worthington?
WORTHINGTON
Positively dying of starvation, Mr. Lightcastle.
Mr. Lightcastle rings the bell.
LIGHTCASTLE
Herbert!
HERBERT, a severe, formally-dressed servant, enters.
LIGHTCASTLE
Herbert, go to the break room and see if they finally have any game pheasant one can prepare.
WORTHINGTON
Or grouse.
LIGHTCASTLE
Grouse will do, in a pinch.
WORTHINGTON
If you absolutely must.
Herbert silently exits.
KARAKIS
We will get you up to speed on this somehow. The new technical writers arrive next week, and it’s your job to --
LIGHTCASTLE
Our job?
WORTHINGTON
Ha! Preposterous!
LIGHTCASTLE
Our only office, my dear man, is to look eminently fashionable. Which we do quite well.
WORTHINGTON
The apotheoses of couture, if we do say so ourselves.
KARAKIS
Well, then we need to find some approach that --
A larger, unseen bell CHIMES three times.
LIGHTCASTLE
Three in the afternoon!
WORTHINGTON
On the dot!
LIGHTCASTLE
Forgive us, we simply must retire to the local tavern. It’s been a difficult day.
WORTHINGTON
Overwrought with fatigue, of course.
Mr. Karakis sniffs the air.
KARAKIS
Is that opium?
LIGHTCASTLE
Really, who keeps track of such things?
WORTHINGTON
Indeed, who?
Lightcastle rings the little bell again.
LIGHTCASTLE
Herbert, prepare our equipage!
The door bursts open, and an INTERN (teens) arrives out of breath.
LIGHTCASTLE
You’re not Herbert!
INTERN
(to Karakis)
Sir, bad news! There are foxes loose in the building and nobody knows what to do!
KARAKIS
What?
INTERN
And, and -- the CEO is about to attend the Governor’s Ball, but has no idea how to match his topcoat and gloves!
KARAKIS
Oh god!
INTERN
And, and, the Viscountess of Salisbury is on her way to the company headquarters, and someone needs to entertain her!
KARAKIS
What will we do?
The two dandies stand as one, heroically.
LIGHTCASTLE
Stand aside, sir.
WORTHINGTON
This calls for Victorian English dandies!
Then they flounce out of the room.
KARAKIS
God bless those crazy bastards.
FADE OUT.