FADE IN: 

INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

Typical post-college apartment: a bland room with cheap furniture and dim lighting.

TAYLOR (early 20s) plays a video game while NEIL (early 20s) eagerly looks on.

We hear the GAME AUDIO but we can’t see the screen.

TAYLOR

Got it.

NEIL

Badass!

ANNA (early 20s) enters, looks at the screen with alarm.

ANNA

You’re playing this without a wedding planner?

TAYLOR

I’m trying to unlock an achievement! Duh.

ANNA

How did you even get to day two?

NEIL

He’s on the pre-ceremony level!

TAYLOR

Everything’s fine, the stress meters are green, I’ve stored up three sanity totems --

ANNA

Yeah, but now you have to corral all the people into the church --

NEIL

He’s got 83% of them in the pews.

ANNA

Oh, and you have to keep Lars away from his ex-girlfriend.

TAYLOR

I’m trying -- crap!

NEIL

So they’re having an argument, it’s no big --

EVERYONE

Whoa.

NEIL

Ow.

TAYLOR

That lady can throw a punch.

ANNA

And now the kids have gotten loose.

TAYLOR

What?

NEIL

She means the unattended children running --

TAYLOR

Oh crap, they’re attacking the wedding photographer.

NEIL

Look at the bright side -- you’ve got 90% of the people into the building, right?

ANNA

Click on the bridesmaids. Can’t they take care of --

NEIL

They’re all hung over. In the previous stage, we did that mini-game --

ANNA

The one with all the tequila? Really?

TAYLOR

The bridesmaids’ stress levels were through the roof. So I traded off one thing for -- why am I even still on this level?

NEIL

Yeah. You’ve done all the requirements.

Everyone ponders this.

ANNA

Where’s the groom?

Taylor scans the screen.

TAYLOR

Oh, crap.

NEIL

Do the cell-phone search --

TAYLOR

What? How is he still at the hotel?!

ANNA

Wow.

TAYLOR

The AI in this game is BALLS!

NEIL

Put him in the pedicab.

TAYLOR

Okay. Level cleared.

ANNA

Barely. And the ceremony’s starting an hour late.

NEIL

An hour late is no big de-- oh.

TAYLOR

The officiant has had enough time to get drunk. Crap.

ANNA

Keep him upright!

TAYLOR

I’m trying.

NEIL

Hey, the groom showed up! Ooh.

TAYLOR

The AI had him walk through mud?! Really?

ANNA

Watch the stress meters!

TAYLOR

Yeah -- there go my sanity totems.

ANNA

Whoa, the father of the bride’s about to clock the groom.

TAYLOR

What can I do about it?

NEIL

Use the officiant!

TAYLOR

He’s drunk!

ANNA

Just keep the fist-fight away from the altar, and -- oh.

NEIL

Did the unity candle just explode?

TAYLOR

Now people are on fire.

NEIL

Nice flame effects!

ANNA

Everybody’s stampeding out of the church!

TAYLOR

I know.

ANNA

Stop them!

TAYLOR

With what?

A MINOR-KEY, DIRGE-Y VERSION OF THE WEDDING MARCH PLAYS.

TAYLOR

Damn.

ANNA

I am never, never getting married.

BLACKOUT.