FADE IN: 

EXT. HOTEL – DAY

Sign out front reads, “RadioChannel Demographic Testing”.

CHAD (V.O.)

And we’ll program new music across the country based on what test groups like you ladies enjoy.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – DAY

CHAD (20s, artsy but rich) lectures a half-dozen middle-aged HOUSEWIVES, including GLADYS.

The housewives hold small consoles with knobs.

Chad stands by a laptop connected to a large set of speakers.

CHAD

If you like a song, turn the knob to the right. If you don’t, turn it to the left.

GLADYS

Can we hear some music now?

CHAD

Eager! I like that!

He types on the laptop, and a seven-second of music plays -- standard innocuous top-forty singer-songwriter fare.

SINGER

And I’m missing you so much!

The music cuts out. Looks of confusion.

GLADYS

Is that it?

CHAD

RadioChannel cares about instant response, Gladys. Now, just turn the knobs, ladies.

They do so.

GLADYS

But -- I mean, lyrically I can’t really tell where she’s going with --

CHAD

It doesn’t matter.

GLADYS

I mean, it could be she misses her dog, or her husband, or maybe some elf on a quest to --

CHAD

It’s not an elf. Just rate the song, as you heard it.

More knob-twiddling.

GLADYS

And harmonically, is it really going to keep cycling through that I:IV:V major progression through the whole --

CHAD

Gladys, if you don’t like the song, then --

GLADYS

And will it always be 4:4? I mean, maybe there’s a bridge in some complex meter, or --

CHAD

I don’t even think you’re using real words, Gladys.

HOUSEWIFE #1

Gladys has a point. There might be more to the song than what we just heard --

CHAD

That might be, but I just have a seven-second clip.

HOUSEWIFE #2

Could we hear it again, at least?

ALL HOUSEWIVES

Yes! Let’s listen again!

(etc.)

CHAD

Fine!

He types on the laptop again.

SINGER

And I’m missing you so much!

GLADYS

The orchestration really needs an old-school Moog.

Chad walks over to Gladys and starts leading her out of the room.

GLADYS

What? It would add texture!

CHAD

Gladys, I don’t think you’re a good match for the data-gathering we want.

GLADYS

But I am!

CHAD

We’ll pay you what we said we would, and you can just go home right now, and --

GLADYS

I want to contribute!

CHAD

We’ll pay you double.

GLADYS

Let me stay!

Two beefy SECURITY GUYS show up.

SECURITY GUY #1

Is there a problem?

INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE – DAY

Establishing shot of a nice little house in the suburbs.

GLADYS (O.S.)

I’m sorry guys.

INT. KITCHEN – DAY

Gladys stands in a fairly nice kitchen.

She speaks to the front cover of a CD of Moving Pictures by Rush.

GLADYS

I tried fighting the good fight for progressive rock.

She puts in the CD, hits play, and dims the lights.

“Tom Sawyer” starts playing as she mixes herself a drink.

Her DAUGHTER walks up to the kitchen door, sees her mother rocking out to the tune, rolls her eyes, and exits.

FADE TO BLACK.