FADE IN: 

INT. COURTROOM – DAY

ONLOOKERS fill a set of audience seats in a courtroom.

BOB (20s) finds a seat next to JIMMY (50s).

From offscreen, JUDGE LAWSON’s voice rings out -- a snarly version of one of Charlie Brown’s teachers.

DEFENSE LAWYER (O.S.)

But, Judge Lawson --

MORE SNARLING!

Lawson’s snarling voice continues in the background throughout.

Bob leans over to Jimmy.

BOB

Does Lawson just find people in contempt of court at random?

JIMMY

Three times per case, on average.

ENRICO sidles in next to Jimmy.

ENRICO

Hear anything about the new guy defending the Pulaski case?

BOB

Oh, that’s me. Bob Carton.

ENRICO

Wow. Okay, twenty bucks says the new guy loses.

BOB

What?

Jimmy makes a note.

JIMMY

Got it, Enrico.

BOB

Wait, did he --? never mind.

ANGELA pokes her head in.

ANGELA

Thirty on a continuance in Pulaski.

JIMMY

That’s five-to-one.

ANGELA

Sounds good.

She heads off.

BOB

But the case should be open-and-shut, since --

JIMMY

Should be, but Lawson is insane.

CLIFF sidles up next to Jimmy.

CLIFF

I’m taking an exacta on the summary judgment followed by punitive damages in the Pulaski case.

JIMMY

And your usual side bet?

CLIFF

Yeah, five bucks says Lawson tells a long, irrelevant story about his cat.

Cliff exits.

BOB

You’re a bookie?

JIMMY

Betting is the only thing that makes Lawson bearable.

OTIS enters.

OTIS

I’m bettin’ on a sensible court judgment in Pulaski, at 12:1.

JIMMY

Otis, are you sure about that? Lawson’s usually drunk by 3pm.

OTIS

I got a system!

Otis exits.

BOB

This is ridiculous!

JIMMY

Lawson is a capricious and evil man. If it weren’t for gambling, we’d all just focus on the injustice of it all.

ROSE peeks in.

ROSE

My usual penny on the longshot, James.

JIMMY

Absolutely. Lawson pulls out an AK, you take home a cool grand.

ROSE

It could happen, James! You never know!

Rose exits.

BOB

This is ridiculous!

JIMMY

Shh!

BOB

This is so wrong I’m not even sure it’s illegal! How can you make this travesty of --

JIMMY

Just stop!

BOB

This travesty of the justice system just so you can make a quick --

An especially loud SNARL from Judge Lawson.

Bob stops.

JIMMY

Uh-oh.

Bob turns around.

Lengthy snarling dialog from Lawson.

BOB

Fine.

A BAILIFF walks up to Bob and escorts him away.

Enrico and Cliff re-enter.

CLIFF

Lawson threw out the defense attorney in Pulaski before the case even started!

ENRICO

Ha! Jimmy, that pays triple!

JIMMY

Fine.

More snarling from Lawson.

CLIFF

Hey, now he’s talking about his cat!

Jimmy buries his face in his hands.

FADE OUT.