Friday Sketch War
The Heist Edition
“The Team”

FADE IN:

INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

BILL sits at a table piled high with schematics, maps, and diagrams.

Guns, rapelling equipment, and electronic gadgets sit on another nearby table.

A nearby chalkboard shows the (heavily-annotated) floor plan of a large mansion.

A giant photo thumbtacked to the chalkboard shows a big, glittery diamond.

Beyond the tables and chalkboard: darkness.

Bill scribbles on the papers, checks a map against the chalkboard floorplan.

A DOOR OPENS somewhere in the dark.

JULIAN steps into the light.

JULIAN

Mr. Ellis. Our employer hopes your plan for obtaining the Zawabi Diamond is coming together?

BILL

It’s the perfect heist, kid. Just gimme manpower.

JULIAN

Excellent. Mr. Ellis, please meet your team.

EZRA enters the area, holding a Boggle game.

JULIAN

Mr. Ezra Diablo, three-time regional Boggle championship.

Ezra shakes the Boggle game.

EZRA

Let’s boggle!

MARY enters, holding a chihuahua who wears a hand-knit sweater.

JULIAN

Mary Williamson, editor of Doggie Sweater Enthusiast Magazine.

MARY

Hello!

JEAN-CLAUDE enters in full chef costume.

JULIAN

Jean-Claude Brillac, expert pastry chef.

JEAN-CLAUDE

I am without equal!

STEPHEN HAWKING wheels forward in a motorized wheelchair.

JULIAN

And renowned physicist Stephen Hawking.

Mr. Hawking speaks via a computerized voicebox.

MR. HAWKING

Let’s do this shit.

Beat.

BILL

So… all the real criminals have gone into banking?

JULIAN

Afraid so.

BLACKOUT.