I always loved these guys. Just wondering what they’d be up to now.
INT. HIGH RISE BUILDING -- NIGHT
Frankie and Willie, two very New York sounding night watchmen, patrol the hallways of an office building in Manhattan. They check doors as they walk and talk.
FRANKIE
Hey there, Willie.
WILLIE
Evening, Frankie, how are you doing?
FRANKIE
I don’t know, you know, Willie, the way the world is going these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if we ended up in the, uh-
WILLIE
Bread line?
FRANKIE
Yeah, the bread line before winter.
WILLIE
I know what you mean. The other night I-I-I was watching one of those, um, what do you call ‘ems?
FRANKIE
News programs?
WILLIE
Yeah. Yeah. I was watching a news program and they were talking about massive layoffs. Skyrocketing unemployment. People fighting for food. It was terrifying.
FRANKIE
You want to talk about terrifying? Last summer I got one of those, um-
WILLIE
Subprime loans?
FRANKIE
Right. No money down. No credit check. It was fantastic.
WILLIE
Sounds fantastic.
FRANKIE
Who wouldn’t accept such a fantastic loan? But now? Now my house is being foreclosed. I got nowhere to sleep.
WILLIE
Ooooh. I hate when that happens!
FRANKIE
I know, right?
WILLIE
It’s like this one time I-I-I went out and, uh, and bought one those, uh-
FRANKIE
Hummers?
WILLIE
‘Cause I enjoy off-roading in the outdoors a great deal. But then the price of gas. Phew! And now I can’t even sell it for scrap metal.
FRANKIE
I hate when that happens.
WILLIE
Don’t even get me started on the-the-the um,
FRANKIE
Wall Street fat cats?
WILLIE
Right. For a while I was having my paycheck direct deposited into my hedge fund because my money manger said it was a no-brainer.
FRANKIE
Oh no.
WILLIE
Oh yes. I’ve only eaten popcorn and dryer lint, which I have to wrestle homeless people for, for the past three months.
FRANKIE
I hate when that happens. At least you’re getting some fiber, though. That’s good.
WILLIE
It’s gotten to the point where I-I-I think about, um, doing that, you know-
FRANKIE
Taking your own life?
WILLIE
Exactly. If bullets didn’t cost so much, I-I-I would put one in my brain.
FRANKIE
That’s a stinker too, boy. You only need the one bullet, but they want to sell you the whole box!
WILLIE
I know!
FRANKIE & WILLIE
I hate when that happens!
FRANKIE
Well, I think I’m going to head up to seven, make use of the office shower room.
WILLIE
Good idea. I’m going to head down to five, see if the cleaning ladies missed any left-over donuts.
FRANKIE
Good night, Willie.
WILLIE
Good night, Frankie.
They exit in opposite directions.
FADE OUT: