The fireworks for our nation’s celebration paled in comparison to the fireworks on display in this week’s two-man dustup. Two warriors, using every weapon in their arsenals in an all-out battle for ultimate victory!

• Coyote launched the first attack, a Roman Candle of Vengeance, and a dozen Sparklers of the Undead…
• Michael retaliated with a barrage of M80s of Destruction and a Cinnamon Sizzler!

We’ve got the true story of our nation’s founding and the maybe true story of Michael’s first date. Poor guy. That’s gotta sting.