TITLES:“CSI: ALASKA”

EXT. ALASKAN PLAIN – DAY

LEVI and ZEKE, bundled up in parka’s and gloves, stand over the body of dead man in blowing snow on a barren white plain. ZEKE wears a navy blue parka with a police badge pinned to the front and “CSI” stenciled on the back in big yellow letters.

ZEKE

Victim is an elderly white male wearing a rubber John McCain mask. Multiple stab wounds, multiple gunshot wounds, multiple areas of blunt force trauma. Victim has a receipt from Bloomingdales Women’s Department stuffed into his mouth, in the amount of for forty-five thousand three hundred seventy-two dollars and fifty-nine cents. Victim’s shirt has been unbuttoned and the words and “We could’ve won if you hadn’t been so moderate, you Maverick asshole” are carved into his chest.  Victim also has a ballpoint pen in one hand and a pad of stationary in the other. The pen is imprinted with “Property of the Alaska Governor’s Office” and the stationary is imprinted with “I went to see the Governor of Alaska and all I got was this lovely stationary”. Ligature marks around the wrists and ankles indicate this man was tied to a chair and tortured for several days.

LEVI

What do you think happened to him?

ZEKE

What does the governor think happened to him?

LEVI

She thinks it was natural causes.

ZEKE

Good enough for me.  Natural causes it is.

LEVI

You do good work Chief.

ZEKE

Thanks Levi.  Levi...that’s the same name as that young fellow who was supposed to marry the governor’s daughter after he got her pregnant. Is that you?

LEVI

Well yeah, but between you and me I was never going to marry her.  We just said that for the press.

A gunshot is heard. Levi’s Head snaps back then he drops to the ground.  Zeke pulls a walkie-talkie out of his jacket.  An unseen helicopter flies over.  Zeke tracks it with his eyes as he speaks into the walkie-talkie.

ZEKE

Nice shooting there Governor. At high-speed too.

(looking down at Levi)

Poor fella...having a fatal heart attack at his age.

BLACK OUT