Here’s my take on the “Vampires” edition of Sketchwar.
Category: Sketches
Sketch Entries from the warriors
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Drac Talk
It is I! Coyote! I bring you this delectable morsel…enjoy it my children of the night!
Moohaha!!!
[fountain]
INT. RADIO STUDIO – NIGHT
DRACULA wears headphones and sits at a mic. The studio is dark, the only light a greenish-blue glow from the board and a narrow spot on his mesmerizing eyes. His accent is pure Bela Lugosi.DRAC
Good evening. Welcome to another edition of “Drac Talk”. The board is already lit up so let’s get right to the phones. Our first caller is Drazen.
(beat)
Drazen, what’s your question?DRAZEN speaks with an accent similar but more subtle than Drac’s.
DRAZEN (O.S.)
Hello, your highness.DRAC
Drac will be fine, caller.DRAZEN (O.S.)
Yes, Drac. You see, I live in a rent controlled apartment in the meat packing district. What used to be the meat packing district, at least. It used to be a good, quiet neighborhood. Lots of people from the old country, with the smells and sounds I was used to. Many of the people were less fortunate
(beat)
with no families to watch over them. -
Robbery Interruptus
Busy week. Here’s my version of “Bad Manners.”
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Reservoir Dogs: The Exceedingly Polite Version
Here’s my take on the “Bad Manners” edition of Sketchwar.
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The Nerve of Some People
Much as the baseball world was stunned when Cal Ripkin’s streak ended, the sketch world has been in turmoil for the last two weeks as I’ve been absent. At least that’s what my mom would tell me if I asked her about it. It had been over a year and a half straight without a single skipped week; I needed the break.
But I’m back and – as you’ll see from this sketch – as adequate as ever.
So sit back, pour yourself a martini, and click on through for RA’s take on “Bad Manners”.
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The Detectives’ Club
Here’s my take on the “Murder Mystery” edition of Sketchwar.
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Discovering the Madoffs
Of late, I’ve been feeling dry and uninspired (wonder if there’s an ointment for that). Anyway, I know this isn’t the best thing next to double stuffed oreo cookies, but its the first sketch in a while that I didn’t have to strap myself to the keyboard to write. I really didn’t know how to approach the topic this week. Since I barely understand the Madoff’s Ponzi scheme, I thought that it would be fun to see how kids might look at it. Eh. Or not. In any case, I had fun writing this.
[fountain]
INT. GIRL’S BEDROOM – DAY
A group of 10-year-old BOYS and GIRLS congregate in an obviously girlish bedroom. SUZY stands in the middle of the room draped in an adult-sized power pantsuit and pearls. JOHNNY and LISA stand around waiting for something to happen while BILLY, wearing an adult-sized grey button down shirt – complete with rolled up sleeves, tie, and a Wolverine battle claw – jumps up and down on the bed.
BILLY
What are we doing, again?Billy plops down on the bed.
SUZY
We’re playing house. I’m Ruth and you’re Bernie Madoff
(more…) -
That’s Rodney!
You know what’s a good, underrated flick from the ’80s? Back to School. Rodney Dangerfield, Robert Downey, Jr., Sally Kellerman and Adrienne Barbeau back when they were particularly milf-y, and a brilliant turn from Sam Kinison. It’s one of those movies that’s far better structured than it has a right to be and pretty damn funny.
Oh, and Kurt Vonnegut has a cameo as Kurt Vonnegut. I won’t spoil the bit if you haven’t seen it.
Anyway, this is my homage to that movie.
[fountain]
INT. DORM ROOM – DAY
JEFF BRIDGES, 18, lanky, and looking overwhelmed, is making his bed in a two-person room. Two suitcases sit on the floor mostly empty. RODNEY GOLDMAN, 50s, wearing a goldfish costume and chewing on an unlit stogie, bursts into the room. Rodney is a cross between Rodney Dangerfield and Eddie Murphy’s Gumby.
(more…)