FADE IN: 

INT. RESTAURANT – NIGHT

In a trendy restaurant, GENE (20s) sits alone at a table set for two.

The table has two half-eaten meals on it.

Gene checks his watch and looks around.

Then MADISON (20s, female) and HUNTER (20s, male) -- perfect-looking, irritatingly cheerful -- approach the table. Madison sits.

GENE

Um -- excuse me, I’m sort of on a date here?

MADISON

You were on a date, Gene.

HUNTER

Yeah, we extracted Clarissa from this one. She’s not coming back.

GENE

“Extracted?”

Madison extends a hand.

MADISON

Hi. We’re from FunDates, Inc., the site that arranged this get-together --

GENE

You’ve come along on my date?

MADISON

-- and our monitoring detected that this date of yours hasn’t been “fun”.

GENE

Well, yeah, it’s a first date, so --

HUNTER

Not the problem, big guy. The problem? You.

GENE

What?

MADISON

You know the FunDates slogan, right?

GENE

No.

HUNTER

It’s “We make dating fun.” Try to keep up, buddy.

GENE

Sorry?

MADISON

The problem is that only 3% of the population --

HUNTER

-- people like us --

MADISON

-- actually has fun with dating. The rest of the population --

HUNTER

-- people like you --

MADISON

-- just stumble through it awkwardly. The only reason conventional dating even still exists is because people like us, well, we kind of run society, and we like it.

HUNTER

FunDates exists because, frankly, we’re tired of dealing with the chaff.

GENE

“Chaff?”

HUNTER

We have matching algorithms that try to filter out non-fun people like you, champ.

MADISON

What can I say, Gene? You seemed fun on paper.

GENE

Why are you telling me this in person? In the middle of my --

Hunter leaves the table.

MADISON

But don’t worry, Gene! You’re in luck! We had another extraction here at this same restaurant.

Hunter returns with AMY (20s, attractive, confused).

MADISON

Amy is another FunDates reject, so maybe you two will hit it off in your artless, developmentally-stunted way.

Madison gets up to go.

HUNTER

Enjoy your night!

Madison and Hunter leave.

Amy sits.

Silence.

GENE

Hey.

AMY

Hey.

Silence.

GENE

Want to go burn down the FunDates building?

Silence.

AMY

Yeah, sounds good.

They exit.

FADE TO BLACK.