Sleep Deprivation


This week, we see our first guest contribution in — months? years? This is from Patrick Knisely, Austin-area improvisor and puppeteer.

James lays down on his bed, trying to fall asleep. Muffled talking comes from the room next door.

JAMES

Ronny, keep it down in there, I’m trying to sleep!

Muffled talking continues

JAMES

Seriously Ronny, I’m trying to sleep.

Muffled talking continues

JAMES

Ronny, this has been happening every night the last couple nights! Who the hell are you talking to?

RONNY

(through the wall)

I’m in the middle of something!

Muffled talking

JAMES

Come to think of it, what the hell have you been doing the last three days? I haven’t seen you since Monday.

RONNY

(screaming)

Leave me alone!

James gets out of bed and goes into the hallway and knocks on the door.

RONNY

No!

JAMES

Ronny, the last few nights I’ve been trying to sleep and all night I hear you mumbling, talking to someone. What’s going on?

RONNY

Two-hundred-thousand-seventy-three-hundred-and-damn-it! I’m in the middle of something, go away!

JAMES

Not until you tell me what’s going on?

RONNY

You’re really messing up my count here.

Ronny looks wild-eyed and crazy, he’s pacing around the room in his pajamas.

JAMES

What the hell are you doing!?!

RONNY

I’m counting sheep, alright, now leave me alone.

JAMES

Wait, you’ve been counting sheep for days straight to try and fall asleep?

Ronny stops pacing and counting and looks at James as if he’s just realized something.

RONNY

Oh yeah. That was the original point.