FADE IN: 

CLOSE UP on RICH (40s), in the sun, sweating, talking on a cell phone.

RICH

Magical. Just magical. I envy you.

(pause)

You had three feet of snow? Wow.

(pause)

Yeah, shoveling gives you a workout for free! Wow. Just seeing the streets all blanketed in a soft layer of snow, and everything’s so quiet --

A WIDER SHOT reveals that Rich is in a chaise-longue.

RICH

Sure, you have to walk carefully, but you just keep an eye out for ice, and --

(pause)

Yeah, the driving’s more difficult, but --

(pause)

But it changes the whole world! It smooths off the rough edges, and turns the city into something new and magical, and --

A WAITRESS comes by with small tray of bills.

WAITRESS

Your change.

Rich puts a hand over the receiver.

RICH

Oh, keep it -- they had three feet of snow in Boise!

WAITRESS

That must be so pretty!

Rich mouths the words as he goes back to the phone.

RICH

I know!

A WIDER SHOT reveals that Rich is in a chaise-longue by a pool where all sorts of beautiful people cavort on a perfect, sunny day.

RICH

But frostbite is easy to recover from!

(pause)

C’mon! If you don’t leave your trash out, you won’t have any ice weasels!

(pause)

I know, I know -- everything shuts down from the beautiful silence of nature. I don’t care if your power is out, you’re still the lucky one.

(pause)

Hello? Hello?

The waitress comes back by with a tray of drinks.

RICH

He shouted a bunch of profanities and hung up.

WAITRESS

Well, he must be excited -- Mai Tai?

RICH

Yes! Hey, did you ever see The Empire Strikes Back?

WAITRESS

Ah. Hoth. The ice planet. I know it well.

FADE TO BLACK.