Coyote is temporarily indisposed, and has left it to me to sum up the latest Friday Sketch War. Since I’m lazy, I’ll subcontract the job out to Mr. Joey Weitzman:

Alright, this week they didn’t <bleep> around, they were all, “Yeah, we’re so <bleep>ing hard we can do any <bleep>ing topic we want.”

So somebody was all, “Oh yeah? <bleep> it, let’s write sketches about ‘3:34am’!”

And another <bleep> was all, “That’s not funny at all!”

And then they punched that guy in the face. And they said, “Yeah, this week’s <bleep>ing topic is 3:34am! We can do this <bleep> because we are bad-<bleep> mother<bleep>ers.”

• So then Coyote writes this sketch about Jared, who’s just tryin’ to sleep, man. I’ll bet that, like, he’s really a ninja, and he’s all “<bleep> it, my master says not to bust out killing people,” and he’s all, like, conflicted and stuff.
• And then Ken’s like, “Whut whut?” and he throws down this sketch about Santa. Yeah, you might think Santa’s all weak and <bleep>. Think again. Santa will <bleep> you up.
• And finally Peter slammed down this one, which is like THIS CLOSE to having a unicorn in it. Yeah, you might think you’re awesome, but you’re sure as <bleep> not UNICORN-AWESOME.

I don’t know which fighter won, but I do know for positively <bleep>ing certain that that “not-funny” lost. Yeah.

Thanks, Joey!

This coming Friday is the day after Christmas, so we have a unique holiday challenge. The “Sketch Skirmish” is to come up with the best two-line scene on the topic “Christmas Presents”. Then, on January second, we resume normal Sketch Wars.