FSW: Pimp my TV (bonus entry from Ken)


Well, I couldn’t resist. I had this idea when I was working on the Facts of Life sketch earlier for this weeks “Pimp My TV” theme, and people giggled everytime I mentioned it. So, I just had to write it up. I’m just being a little high-concept sketch piggy this week 🙂

Anyway, hope you enjoy this:
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INT. MANSION ENTRYWAY – DAY

Close up on a tuxedo clad handsome blond man in his early thirties, DR. CHASE, adjusts his clothes for a night out when the camera freezes on a closeup of his face

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Dr. Jonathan Chase… wealthy, young, handsome. A man with the brightest of futures. A man with the darkest of pasts. From Africa’s deepest recesses, to the rarefied peaks of Tibet, heir to his father’s legacy and the world’s darkest mysteries. Jonathan Chase, master of the secrets that divide man from animal, animal from man

The camera un-freezes. The doorbell rings and DR. CHASE answers. CHICO, a young handsome latino in his early twenties stands there.

CHICO

Hey, man…you need, like, any help with the gardening, or maybe someone to wash your limo?

Freeze on a close up of CHICO’S face

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Chico Juarez…unemployed, young, latino. A man with a questionable future. A man with a past no one cares about. Heir to his cousin’s Econovan, master of the dance floor.

Camera un-freezes. DR. CHASE walks over to CHICO and puts his hand on his shoulder.
The Ghostly head of Dr. Chase’s father, Dr. CHASE Senior appears. Only DR. CHASE can see or hear it.

DR. CHASE SENIOR

(in an ethereal voice)

Jonathan…this man can help you in your quest…accept his aid

The head fades

DR. CHASE

My friend, providence has brought us together.

CHICO

No man…I just noticed you got, like, the only mansion in the barrio. So I figure you got money and you like Mexicans, si hermano? Hey, nice threads, man! Hot date tonight?

Camera freezes on the two men facing other in profile.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Together, they’re an unstoppable crime-fighting force of nature.

They turn to silhouettes and titles fly in:
CHICO AND THE MANIMAL

CUT TO:

INT. LIMO – NIGHT

CHICO, now wears a chauffeur’s uniform and drives, while DR. CHASE, still in his tuxedo.

CHICO

Why we gotta follow this car man? My cousin is the bouncer at this hot club…wall to wall chicas.

DR. CHASE

They’re stopping. Quick…the window.

CHICO stops the car, and presses a button lowering a back window. DR. CHASE transforms into a black panther. After a dramatic snarl the panther leaps out the back window in slow motion. CHICO stares ahead looking on in awe.

CHICO

Go get ‘em Dr. Chase.

CHICO notices a smell in the air. After sniffing he looks in the back seat.

CHICO

Awww man…you chase bad guys, I get to hose out the back seat…again!!! Madre de Dios.

CUT TO:

INT. MANSION ENTRYWAY – DAY

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

With the unknowing assistance of Detective Brooke Mackenzie, they’ll fight to take back the city from the evil that consumes it.

BROOKE MACKNZIE, a beautiful blonde police detective in her late twenties addresses DR. CHASE

BROOKE

If you do see a panther in the area, don’t try to subdue it yourself.

DR. CHASE

Of course detective Mackenzie. But how curious that a wild animal like that was such an aid in apprehending those arms dealers.

BROOKE

Yes, it was curious…are you sure…

CHICO enters, looking at BROOKE and obviously attracted. BROOKE notices CHICO, and stumbles over her words.

BROOKE (CONT)

I…ummm…

CHICO

Que pasa, chica?

CHICO walks around BROOKE, slowly checking her out. BROOKE giggles slightly

DR. CHASE

But the panther was of tremendous help…one might even say heroic in it’s actions.

BROOKE

Oh God yeah…it was so…so hot…helpful, I mean…oh yeah, soooooooo helpful. He moves so gracefully…IT..IT moved!

CUT TO:

EXT. ABANDONED DIRT LOT – NIGHT

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Together, they’ll face everything the mean streets can throw at them

CHICO drags DR. CHASE around the corner of a chain link fence, falling back against it. Both men are scraped, bloody and bruised, with large rips in their clothes. CHICO looks back to make sure they weren’t followed.

DR. CHASE

You’ve saved my life my friend. I’m forever in your debt.

CHICO

Just promise me one thing.

DR. CHASE

Anything.

CHICO

Don’t EVER change into a chicken in the barrio again. It’s suicide!

CUT TO:

INT. WAREHOUSE LOFT – NIGHT

CHICO talks to JORGE, while DR. CHASE stands nearby.

CHICO

(to DR. CHASE)

Jorge’s my cousin, it’s cool. Show him.

DR. CHASE looks nervous, then transforms into a panther.

JORGE

Madre de Dios! It’s true!

JORGE runs off screen and returns a black velvet canvas on an easel, and starts painting the panther in neon colores. CHICO smiles

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

When animal magnetism meets latin heat, it can only be…

Titles fly in as the ANNOUNCER says them

ANNOUNCER (V.O.)

Chico….and the Manimal!

BLACK OUT