Wow. Someone (not the two people I was actually targeting, but someone) felt called out this week and decided to send in a sketch. It’s her first shot at sketch comedy, but I thought it was pretty decent. She’s homepageless at the moment, so I’m going to paste it below. Everyone, please give a warm welcome to our newest battler, Red. (I’m not going to include her email address as she suggested, because I fear she’d send money to all the deposed Nigerian princes who would contact her.)

The Meeting
(Two women and a man sit at a conference table wearing business casual attire. Ms Willson rushes in and stands at the head of the table, where we can only see her back. The other three get odd expressions on their faces, and glance between each other and Ms Willson. Smiles slowly creep across their faces.)

MS WILLSON
Is something funny? We have serious business to attend to, and since I am behind schedule we really don’t have time to have this conversation. (Brianne raises her hand.) Yes, Brianne, do you have something to say, and is it pertinent to the meeting?

BRIANNE
Well, I just wanted to tell you that–

MS WILLSON
–If it’s not about the meeting, I don’t want to hear it.

(Ms Willson ad-libs on sales figures and clients for a few moments. The others continue to smile.)

MS WILLSON
The fact that our sales numbers are down, is that something you find amusing, Charlie?

CHARLIE
(Stammers) No, no, that’s not funny at all. It’s just that…

MS WILLSON
Just that what? Really, is this a case of Friday afternoon happy hour anticipation or are you all just on something?

(They stare at the floor, holding back snickers.)

MARIE
Well, Ms Willson, what we’ve been trying to tell you, is that it’s hard to focus on sales numbers when your dress is tucked into your pantyhose and we can see your underwear. Is today Monday or Friday because I can’t tell from what you are wearing?

(Ms Willson turns away from the table to face us and looks down. Her dress is tucked into her pantyhose in front and the front or her underwear is visible. We can clearly read the word “Monday” printed all over them.)

MS WILLSON
Ah, well. Thanks Marie, and all, sorry I didn’t let you speak sooner. (She heads to the door.) I’ll be right back…

(The three co-workers burst into laughter.)

BLACKOUT