Sketch Entries from the warriors
(A speed dating event. MEGAN, an attractive thirtysomething, sits at a small table across from PHIL, 38, in a sharp suit and tie.)
MEGAN
Hi there! I’m Megan.
PHIL
Nice to meet you unbutton your blouse, Megan. I’m Phil Maloney.
MEGAN
What do you do for a living, Phil?
PHIL
I’m an advertising executive filthy rich at an agency downtown.
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This one came to me almost immediately. I’m just thrilled no one beat me to the punch on this pairing. I would pay good money to see this sketch.
[fountain]
Opening montage. Stills of Stuart Smalley float across the sky. End on gorgeous sunset.
STUART (V.O.)
I deserve good things. I am entitled to my share of happiness. I refuse to beat myself up. I am an attractive person. I am fun to be with.
ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
“Daily Affirmation with Stuart Smalley”. Stuart Smalley is a caring nurturer, a member of several 12-step programs, but not a licensed therapist.
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And a last bonus sketch as well (told you I had fun visiting old friends 
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Another favorite character I just had to say “hi” to….
I was a little skeptical about this weeks challenge at first – writing sketches for what (in some cases) are iconic characters created by comic geniuses felt intimidating and limiting. But for me, it ended up being a way of bringing some of my favorite characters into the modern world, and seeing what they’d think of it. So here’s my take on…well, why ruin the surprise….
I know from searching the net that I’m not the only one deeply disappointed with much of the modern content of SNL. In particular, I hate the MacGruber segments because they seem to me nothing more than lazy. They aren’t that funny to begin with – and to run multiple sketches in one episode of SNL is a symptom of a much deeper lapse in FUNNY. Anyway, here’s my take on what a couple of past performers on the show might have had to say if they got cast in one of today’s shows… It’s a little segment they like to call… Really?
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Hi all — here’s my take on the “time travel” edition of Sketchwar….
[fountain]
INT. INVENTOR’S LAB – DAY
PROFESSOR GREBITUS and his assistant, MERL, stand among the various whirling contraptions and bubbling beakers. Professor Grebitus holds in his hands a small, golden device that looks a lot like a pocket watch.
PROFESSOR GREBITUS
Behold, Merl, my greatest invention! I hold in my hand, the power to control time itself. And thanks to my genius, it’s so simple a child could operate it. (more…)
Another fun one from E.L. Raica. I think it’s about time to get that lady her own account! This one had me laughing from the word go. Well, technically it had me laughing from the word “Kyle”. You’ll see what I mean. Enjoy, and be sure to let E.L. know what you think.
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I want you to picture the worst possible special effects on this one. I mean, the kind of thing that would have embarrassed the I Dream of Jeannie crew. The kind of stuff that Irwin Allen would have been ashamed to show his mother. Visible guidewires, cheap green screens, the works.
And now…